Hey friends! Your boy Blakey Locks is here to give you the most extensive Super Bowl betting preview on the world wide web. It’s going to start with Part One right here, where I’ll give out some tips and a schedule for how to best go about your Super Bowl Sunday as a degenerate. I’ll also be giving out some fun props you should take a look at. Then tomorrow I’ll drop Part Two which will have my actual breakdown of the game and what I’m betting and also all of the props both fun and real that I’m betting! It’s one of the best betting nights of the year and it IS the best prop night of the year so make sure you give it all a read so you know where to lay your action! Let’s ride.
Props
The Super Bowl is the best prop day of the year. You can bet on almost every event and every hypothetical that could happen throughout the day on Sunday. It’s important to remember that while there are a lot of funny props, you don’t have to bet them all. You can actually make money betting Super Bowl props. Of course, props are supposed to be fun, but there is nothing more fun than making money. Tomorrow I’ll be dropping all of the bets I actually am going to play, but here are some ridiculous ones from our friends at BetOnline! Make sure you head there for all of your Super Bowl betting needs.
Looking for crazy Super Bowl prop bets? We partnered w/BetOnline this week because they come up with props like these…use promo code: BUSTED https://t.co/XZSxdwGcNI pic.twitter.com/YRECvujD38
— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) January 30, 2020
Quick run through- Drake curse (no), Antonio Brown (no), Streaker (Security), John 3:16 (Yes), Underdog (Yes), Joe Montana, Jay Z (Yes), Dan Marino (Yes), Super Bowl IV (Yes), Tom Brady (Yes). Cash machine.
Here are some more ridiculous props you can bet:
The Puppy Bowl props are always great. That last one is… yikes.
These are the hottest props on the market. These are the two most insufferable people on the internet and we have to smash both overs. Patrick Mahomes might post 40 TikToks.
Economics props for you stock/crypto people out there.
Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy, who got thrown out of the game last year, is a longshot to repeat getting thrown out. I feel like you can know in advance if Trump is going, but I guess not?? I would hammer the yes for Fox mentioning the gambling aspect, and also Nike would never do that. Backlash city.
Finally, some good ole fashion commercial props. Hammer Doritos. Always first in line for Super Bowl commercials.
Betting Tips
- Bet some college basketball and NBA during the day to wet your beak early and stretch out your gambling muscles
- Give out one longshot prop tip to your friends you’re watching the game with. Tell them to just throw a few bucks on a longshot first TD prop or something. Then you will all have something to cheer for together to start the night. If it hits you are a hero and if it doesn’t then it was still fun.
- Lock in all of the props you want to bet on by noon on Sunday. You are going to be drinking all day and having those props available to a drunk degenerate is dangerous. Lock all of your bets in early and then try to stay off the book unless you’re betting some live/2H action.
- Last tip- don’t take any of these tips too seriously. This is the last football game we can bet until August. Bet TOO much money, get TOO drunk, and eat TOO much buffalo chicken dip. It’s going to be a great day.
Super Bowl Schedule
10:00 AM- Pour your first drink of the day. You don’t need to drink allll day but it’s a good idea to start your day with one to get your mind right. Start searching the lines at BetOnline.ag
11:00 AM- You should have read this whole preview and listened to my podcast. Now you should begin to enter every single bet you want to take today. There are so many things to bet that this will take longer than you think. Do it now. Don’t wait until later and have to rush through it.
12:00 PM- College basketball tips off and the WM Phoenix Open is rolling. You should have a couple of bets going in those events to get you in the flow. You can get my hoops picks here- twitter.com/BlakeyLocks
2:00 PM- The first round of basketball games ended and it’s time to take that money you just won and make your grocery store run for whatever food/booze you want for the day.
3:00 PM- Start eating and drinking said food and booze while continuing to watch other sports.
4:30 PM- Make sure every bet you want is in place. Other than live bets and 2H action you are not allowed to bet a bunch of props right before kickoff once you’re already drunk. They will lose.
5:30 PM- Head to wherever you’re watching the game. If it’s a Super Bowl Party then scout out the other guys at the party that gamble. You won’t want to be around squids who don’t get your pain when Tyreek Hill scores the first TD instead of Travis Kelce.
6:30 PM- Game time. Sit back and enjoy the spectacle.
3:10 AM- Wake up in a cold sweat wondering how the fuck you’re going to pay your bookie tomorrow. RIP.
I hope this gave you some inspiration on how to handle your Super Bowl Sunday as a degenerate or otherwise. Tune in tomorrow for part two of my Super Bowl preview where I’ll be giving you every single bet I’m making myself. Cheers.
