Kansas Woman Creates Christmas Light Penis On Her Roof, Boomers Get Offended

Shelby Gash tried to have fun with her Christmas lights by putting a holiday penis on her roof, but Boomers got offended / via WDAF

What happens when a millennial, Shelby Gash in Johnson County, Kansas, tries to have a little fun during the holiday season? The Boomers had to go and ruin Shelby’s fun. Her fun was taking Christmas lights, going up on her roof and drawing a big ol PENIS with those lights. Big STIFF rod.

One thing led to another and the Boomers started getting uptight, started thinking about their property values and stuff like that. Then the media showed up and Shelby’s neighbors started thinking the joke wasn’t funny any longer and that has led Shelby to unplug the lights that clearly make her super happy.

First, let’s hear from the Boomers:

“Well, it looks like a p***s,” Marcelo Vergara told WDAF. “A giant lit up p***s.”

Until Tuesday, Marcelo and his wife Christi Vergara hadn’t seen the display that’s lighting up some people in their Whispering Hills neighborhood.

“Well it’s certainly a statement,” Vergara said. “I don’t know to what but probably not appropriate for the neighborhood.”

Shelby Gash says:

We asked the 24-year-old what it is.

“A giant glowing d**k,” Shelby responded.

Notice how the TV station censored PENIS. A perfectly safe clinical term was CENSORED. I’m trying to find somewhere on Google that says PENIS is a foul word for the local news. IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS on the roof. People in Kansas are that big of snowflakes that they can’t hear that word on the news? Sad times. And then they censored the balls of the penis too. As if people can’t see the giant STAFF in plain sight.

I’ll just say it — you guys better be shooting your shot with Shelby. She’s clearly a party.

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