Do Yankees Fans Still Think Gerrit Cole is a Mental Midget Who Can’t Handle the Bronx?

If you somehow haven’t heard, the big sports news of the day is Gerrit Cole signing with the New York Yankees. That’s right folks, the Yankees are finally signing big-name free agents again and throwing out contracts that God himself could not match.

324 million dollars… literally a third of a billion. Nobody should ever be paid that much money to throw a baseball 30 nights a year, but good for Gerrit for getting his money! Yankees fans are obviously excited since the 2010s were a decade of losing for the Evil Empire.

I mean it was literally the first decade since the 1910s that the team didn’t appear in a World Series, and even then it was because half the team got shipped off to fight in World War I! The Yankees’ biggest shortage during this drought has very noticeably been starting pitching, which is why this signing is such a big deal to Yankees fans. For those that don’t follow baseball closely, Gerrit Cole is one of the best pitchers in the MLB and helped lead the Houston Astros to a World Series last season. His pending free agency was a hot topic all season, particularly when the Astros and Yankees were set to face off in the ALCS because even at that time the Yankees were considered the frontrunners to sign Cole in the offseason. The last piece of backstory you need on Gerrit Cole is that he has been very open about his mental health and anxiety issues he suffers from. As someone who suffers from mental health issues myself, I think it’s awesome that Cole is open about that shit, and as he is year-in and year-out one of the best pitchers in the league, the anxiety doesn’t seem to affect his performance on the field at all.

Now take us to the 2019 ALCS… the Yankees stole a game in Houston so the series was 1-1 headed back to the Bronx. Gerrit Cole was slated to start Game 3, and Yankees fans thought they had the ‘Stros right where they wanted them. No way Gerrit Cole could handle the big bad Yankees in the Bronx in October! He stood no chance! Just listen to these guys…

Now, in case you weren’t following at the time, this is what happened that night:

Cole went 7 innings and didn’t give up a single run. Interesting. Thought he couldn’t handle the bleacher creatures? This must be an anomaly… he’s gotten destroyed at Yankee Stadium before, right? They had to be cocky for a reason!


Now, I know what you’re thinking. These Yankees fans that thought Gerrit Cole was too mentally weak to pitch in the Bronx must be PISSED that the Yankees spent so much money a guy who won’t even be able to win a home game!! Let’s see what some Yankees fans had to say before the big Game 3 versus after the Cole signing.

Hmm. Interesting.

Yikes!! That first tweet is quite aggressive for someone who “needs that man in pinstripes.”

This guy has gotta be my favorite. GERRIT COLE SZN name, Gerrit Cole Yankees photoshop profile pic, and Gerrit Cole can’t handle the Bronx. *chef kisses*

No words.

A real shame that this woman didn’t renew her season tickets! Somewhere in her Hulkamaniac rage she seems to be going through she’s gonna remember her lack of tickets and be quite upset. Sad to see.

So congrats Yankees fans! You got your man! No chance investing this much money in one guy who pitches 30 games a year will turn out poorly! I just hope his soon-to-be-shaven face can handle those cold October nights in the Bronx. I wonder if the Yankees will bend the rules for their new ace.

So head on down to your local Modells and be at Yankees Stadium on Opening Day with your Gerrit Cole jersey with his name on the back, even though that means it’s a fake! Go Yanks!

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