Jason Witten Is Now Bald

Jason Witten is now bald — officially bald. It’s no longer a debate, Jason Witten was wearing a toupee during his time with ESPN and it brings up all sorts of questions about what was going on with him at ESPN during the Monday Night Football era. Witten spoke at a press conference this weekend announcing his return to the Dallas Cowboys and came out bald and beautiful.

That’s right, Jason Witten went the Brian Urlacher route of getting a new head of hair, but now we know it was all just a cover up and that it was a confirmed toupee, which you just don’t see much of these days. I’m demanding a full investigation into this cover up and why Jason Witten was wearing a toupee during Monday Night Football. Was Jason Witten pressured into wearing a toupee as part of his contract with ESPN? Did ESPN advise him wearing a toupee would be good for the Jason Witten brand? Was the toupee Witten’s idea?

So many questions here. I’m telling you guys, this is the kind of thing that keeps me up at night. Yes, I’m a bald(ing) white guy and I feel bad for Witten here because he went from NFL guy who was clearly losing it, to ESPN broadcast guy looking like his head was being injected with follicle HGH. That was one of the fullest heads of hair in broadcasting history.

I just hope Witten didn’t feel pressured to have a full head of hair to be a broadcaster. Nothing worse than being bullied into being someone you’re not. The makeup crew could’ve easily bronzed up his head and he would’ve looked great. People wouldn’t have bothered him.

It’s good to see Witten has moved on and seems to be happy being back to playing football and leaving behind that ridiculous broadcasting career that was going nowhere. Play a couple more seasons, wait for the Tennessee job to open up and everything will be fine.

Honestly, it’s not like bald Jason Witten is some travesty. Look at the guy. He’ll get some sun and that head will look just fine.

From his first stint with the Cowboys to ESPN:




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