Browns Fan Is Dumping His 1998 Ford Econoline Van Before Sam Darnold Saves The Franchise

via Craigslist
Imagine driving this 1998 Ford Econoline Browns van around town as the team locks up a playoff spot thanks to Sam Darnold’s rocket right arm in 2020. You’ll wish you jumped on this one now at just $2,500 before prices go through the roof in 2020 when guys start blowing mortgage payments on tickets and tailgating rides. You’ll be sitting pretty when Darnold goes off on the AFC North. Big Ben will be gone. It’ll be Darnold’s division.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you. No, I don’t get a commission on the sale, but that might be a new business plan I work on because this BC job will be over here in a couple years when they hire some young gun to take my job. Maybe I’ll broker tailgating sales for super fans.
From the seller:

Cleveland Browns van for sale. 1998 Ford Econoline Van. Runs great. New tires, belts, etc. Some rust on bottom of sides and back. Great van for tailgating. $2500 OBO

Look, you know this thing has been puked in and has seen so much despair that you’d be advised to rip out the interior and start over. I’d plan on buying a case of Lysol from Costco and just start spraying it down. Spray away those horrible losing seasons.

Let's Go Live To Lambeau Field To See How Spring Is Going
Let's Go Live To Lambeau Field To See How Spring Is Going