Twitter Spanks It To News That New World Series Champion Evan Gattis Was A Janitor
There’s nothing White Twitter likes more than some sort of redemption story where some athlete makes it out of a shittty job (according to society), like a janitorial job, and then go like 10 years later to win a World Series title. Do I have proof? Of course I have proof, it’s right there on Twitter where people are literally jerking off all over themselves over Evan Gattis’s life story where he went on some spiritual journey at 19 or so like guys you went to high school with.
Look, good for him getting his baseball life back after doing some shittty jobs. But, which one of us hasn’t done some sort of shittty job? This isn’t about crushing Gattis for working through what he’s described as mental illness. This is about crushing the Twitter crowd who needs to equate being a janitor as some shittty life trajectory. Guy that lives two houses down from me is a janitor, drives a Harley & a truck, is a successful high school volleyball coach, does some on-air TV work and drinks fairly high-end scotch.
Remember the Kurt Warner bagging groceries story? Of course you do. White people can rattle that off better than they can tell stories about their kids.
CBS Sports couldn’t help themselves last night…sounds like a “movie” to them…so much sports porn here:

Here’s the gist of the Gattis story:

• Injured his knee, went off the baseball grid at 19 after playing at some Oklahoma junior college
Took odd jobs (yes, one was as a janitor with his brother), maybe smoked some pot, typical shitt guys do at 19 to find themselves; flipped a couple pizzas, worked at a ski lift
Once found himself in NYC on a five-day visit, stayed at a hostel (so gritty!) and found himself with an emptied ATM and no cash to make it to the airport for his flight back to Texas; cop let him jump on the train to JFK, didn’t have any money for food so he asked some traveler for food & got $10 instead…blah, blah, blah.
• I’m still trying to find evidence where Gattis was ever homeless; there was some sort of mention here, but it’s not verified with the backstory. Gattis said during the NYC trip that he sat with some homeless dude, but never said he was homeless
• Of course he ended up back in college, started smashing the ball, got drafted and made the trek to the big leagues
Now we have tweets rolling in where people are ready to drop $15, or whatever it costs to go to the movies, to see Disney ramp up his story even further.

You think this story from Houston’s ABC 13 mentions where & when he was homeless? Of course it doesn’t. Just the headline. I watched the entire story.

ABC 13 even teased it on Twitter that he overcame being homeless….RATINGS GRAB! Then they didn’t mention it in the above report:

Lines For WS Gear At Academy Sports In Houston Were Insane…Luckily Someone Passed Out Beer
Lines For WS Gear At Academy Sports In Houston Were Insane…Luckily Someone Passed Out Beer