Zach Johnson's Hair, Roger Clemens HUGE Pants & A Michigan In A Diaper

 
Zach Johnson’s hair
It’s time to just let it all go. You’re very wealthy. You’ve now had one helluva PGA career. You’ll be 40 in February. You’re now 4-1 in playoffs. Don’t sweat the hair. It’s a mess. There’s no denying it. I know you’re not a vocal guy who is a jokester. You’re like the extremely nice neighbor guy who cuts grass and waves to all the neighbors.  Once 40 hits, just get it cut down. Take down the forest. Say goodbye. Your 30s will be gone. You’re married. You have kids. It’s time to sit back with your two major titles and tell golf tales.
So what happened to Shelton and Lambert?
Page Six says she didn’t want kids. Isn’t that something you get settled BEFORE you get married? Like by the 4-5 date? The first few dates you’re just figuring out whether you want to sleep with the other person. Then you go right into the kids thing. Not these two morons. Now they’ve gone and broken all sorts of hearts of morons who get worked up over these celebrity couples. I smell lots of albums being written right now — for Shelton and Lambert to sing. Of course they’re not writing the actual lyrics.
Numbers from @ESPNStatsInfo:

Mike Trout has 126 career HR, 6th most by any player before turning 24 in MLB history. He’s got time to add to that total – turns 24 Aug. 7

Kid Rock Atlanta Show Fans, Golden Tate's Girlfriend & Cardale Has New Tat?
Kid Rock Atlanta Show Fans, Golden Tate's Girlfriend & Cardale Has New Tat?