Jared Lorenzen Has Zero Interest in This Toy Horse With a Penis

Like many Americans, former NFL champion and Ultimate Indoor Football League great Jared Lorenzen was out and about this morning surfing for some post-Christmas deals. What was The Hefty Lefty on the search for? A toy horse for his kids because best dad ever, am I right?
Well, that hunt took a turn for the interesting when Jared hit up his local Target. As you can see from the picture below, this particular store sells horses that have penises!
If you’re going to take toy animals next level, you might as well get them anatomically correct. It literally looks like they just glued on some human-like genitalia on the thing. The horse penis should be at least half of the body, doesn’t everyone know this?

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