Let me take you back to a time before Twitter and Instagram. Many of you were still in high school and never knew about the Legend of Kyle Orton, the Bills starting quarterback this Sunday in Detroit. There actually was a time when athletes would hammer bottles of Jack while gawkers took photos. It was an innocent time. Athletes didn’t end up on SportsCenter because they were taking pulls off Jack bottles. The photos ended up buried on MySpace and the few blogs that existed in 2005-06.
Word eventually spread that Orton, or maybe you just know of him as Neckbeard, was a partying legend who didn’t care about being photographed. His partners in crime back in those days would’ve been Roethlisberger, Steelers kicker Jeff Reed, Vince Young and Dirk Nowitzki.
I miss those wild Internet days before Twitter nerds took over. I miss the days when I could post a photo of a USC Song Girl working on a Dong Bong. We’re left with a history lesson for the younger readers on how things used to be when Kyle Orton roamed the land and left a trails of Jack bottles and grinning coeds in his wake.
Want to feel old? Orton has the most years of NFL service of any player on the Bills roster. He’s 31.
The Best of Drunken Kyle Orton
