Todd Helton Got A Horse For His Retirement From The Rockies


Todd Helton is playing his final game at Coors Field tonight so the Rockies thought they’d get their all-time great something for his retirement. So, of course, they went out and got Todd a f**kin’ horse. That’s right, a horse.

You know, because he’s a big redneck who doesn’t need a cherry red Corvette or a nice rocking chair. Or a Coors Light beer truck.

A horse.

There you go, Todd. Just remember to ride sober when heading to the carryout for scratch offs.




And then the guy went out in the 2nd inning and hit a dong.