Melissa Satta is almost a trick contestant for BC’s ‘How Many Beers’ feature. After all, who doesn’t want to say “I banged a woman who appeared in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and Maxim,” to their friends over a beer or 10 at the local bar.
Well, before you answer, know that gorgeous Italian model/TV host Satta, 27, is used to getting naked with European and African soccer players in peak physical condition.
Are you in that sort of shape, sparky? No, you’re not; you’re a desk jockey with a muffin top. No way your naked body doesn’t disappoint Satta, even if you’re packing a baby’s arm holding a baseball. You’d be scarred for life by her laughter.
How many beers: Two sixes of Peroni and a few shots of Danny DeVito’s limoncello to ward off the Michael Douglas curse.