Hockey Hall of Famer Chris Chelios would like you to take a dump in his swag Malibu beach house. Really.
Now, it’s going to cost you $25,000 a month (with a long-term deal) to cut turds on the same toilet that Chelios, and other members of the Mailbu Mob have shat on during past parties at the home. The price is a cut rate from the $75,000 for June, $100,000 for July and $100,000 for August which Chelios normally charges.
If you pony up the cash, your cheeks could be ass-kimo brothers with the butts of people like John McEnroe, Kelsey Grammer, Tony Danza, Ed O’Neill and Kid Rock. If there isn’t an etched sign in the shitter that reads: “Al Bundy Crapped Here,” it’s the biggest missed marketing opportunity ever.
Included in the home rental are incredible panoramic views of the Pacific from Point Dume to Palos Verdes, a rooftop patio and a Jacuzzi. We assume the house has a Fox Sports 1 feed piped into every room now that Chelios is on board the ESPN-killing train.
Highlights of Chris Chelios’ Malibu Beach House:
• 4 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms
• 16 miles to Godfather: The Gentlemens Club
• 13 miles from Whole Foods
• 28 miles to Fox Sports