You know who’s getting laid tonight? This Rangers fan. You know who’s totally excited that her boyfriend caught a foul ball at today’s home opener against the Angels?
How excited? Very.
So excited she wraps her legs around her guy for the super awesome snag.
How do we know they’re not married? Because married women never act like this towards their husbands. How do we know? Because I’m married.
These antics end as soon as she eats the wedding cake. Trust me.