You’ve been sitting around the house, eating greasy pizza, watching the NFL Network and avoiding your annoying girlfriend or wife. You haven’t moved off the couch in 48 hours and your phone died, rendering your Twitter account worthless.
Meanwhile, sports smack-talking maniacs have been using social media and other outlets to vent on fellow combatants. Athletes are fighting writers. Writers are fighting writers. Athletes are fighting fans.
This is where Busted Coverage steps in on a weekly basis. The gatekeepers.
If someone is in a sports-related war, we’re all ears. If you know of a sports-related beef, we want to hear about it. There are no sports beefs too small for The Schoolyard editors. Try us.
Good Luck Getting A Real Date, Nerds
Fight Combatants: Kate Upton vs. High School Nerds
Fight Details: High school nerd puts together a social media campaign to entice Kate Upton to be his prom date. The kid, Jake Davidson, lands 2.2 million hits on YouTube and Upton is shamed into an “I’ll check my schedule” tweet and the internet goes nuts.
The only problem for Jake was that Upton came back this week and said her schedule was full. Life sucks, kid.
Fight Scorecard: Hot chicks – TKO.
Hockey Fight Of The Year. End Of Debate.
Fight Combatants: Patrick Bordeleau (Colorado) vs Brian McGrattan (Calgary)
Fight Details: McGrattan holds the AHL’s single-season PIM record with 551, while Bordeleau is a young goon trying to make a name for himself. The two tangled Wednesday night in what is easily the NHL fight of the year. Neither guy ducks a punch. Neither guy wears a shield. Neither guy tries to stop the others right.
Punch me in the nose and I’ll punch you in the nose.
Fight Scorecard: Draw.
Nice White Joke, Whitey
Fight Combatants: Doug Gottlieb vs. uptight people who can’t take white jokes
Fight Details: Talking head Doug Gottlieb figured tonight, while on the CBS set before NCAA tournament coverage, would be the perfect time to try out his white jokes on a bunch of black dudes who aren’t in the mood to have some white guy telling jokes.
Of course his former colleague at ESPN, one Mark May, took offense to such a joke.
And, of course, Gottlieb reminded everyone that it was a joke, kinda like the 12:38 a.m. EST second game finishes on CBS.
Fight Scorecard: Gottlieb via decision for having the nuts to drop such a joke while flanked by black dudes.
Honey, You Really Want To Destroy Your Face?
Fight Combatants: Former Kansas City Chiefs cheerleader Rachel Wray vs. Nadia Nixon
Fight Details: Wray, a 2012 Chiefs cheerleader who debuted as a MMA fighter in January, made her fourth appearance in a cage last Friday night. The fight with Nixon turned into a standup bloody brawl.
Wray, believed to be the first NFL cheerleader-turned-fighter, went three rounds with Nixon and had less blood oozing from her face, but lost via decision.
Fight Scorecard: Draw. There are no winners here.
LeBron Lincoln So Tired Of Being Picked On
Fight Combatants: LeBron vs. Hard Fouls
Fight Details: LeBron, the same guy who went 211 minutes without being called for a foul earlier this season, had a beef Wednesday night with hard fouls after the Bulls used a foul him hard strategy to snap the Heat’s 27-game winning streak.
The Bulls’ fouls were playoff fouls – in March.
LeBron’s response: “Those were not basketball plays.”
Of course LeBron’s whining led to discussion around the league, which led to Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge expressing his opinion on a Boston radio station.
“I think that it’s almost embarrassing that LeBron would complain about officiating,” Ainge said.
Fight Scorecard: Hard fouls – via decision.