Toronto Raptors guard Landry Fields announced today that he is engaged to his bikini-wearing girlfriend Elaine Alden, ending speculation that he’d just date her until another hot bikini model came along.
Couldn’t be happier!! Marrying the woman of my dreams!! God is SO good! :D
God, our sources tell us, did create implants after he was done creating Mickey Mantle, power steering and a polio vaccine. He figured that NBA players would want women with big, implanted hooters so that was added to his list.
Anyway, Alden isn’t exactly hitting the jackpot with this Fields character. He’s earned $1,235,799 over his first two seasons and is working on a 3-year, $$18,750,000 contract with Toronto. By the time he throws a wedding, buys the $5 million mansion and pays his agent, Fields is broke.
Good luck, kids.