No need to sugarcoat it, the Cubs suck old wrinkly balls this year. 11 games out. Tied for worst team in baseball. The only reason to even pay attention to the team is to watch drunken Cubs fan get drunk, maybe get in a fight and of course watch a home run shot bounce off his hand and onto Waveland. For example, yesterday featured such a bro and his pack of bro buddies. Cubs bro showed up on Memorial Day wearing his special tank top.
By the 7th inning, all bros in the bleachers were well sauced and not thinking correctly. Starlin Castro was batting. 0-2 count. 8-7 Cubs lead. And then the Padres sh*tty pitcher left one over the plate and Castro crushed it. Deep left. Right into the hands of Back-To-Back World War Champs tank top shirt guy’s hands.
Wait, what just happened? The ball went onto Waveland? Did Bulls d-bag just cause our American hero to drop a HR dong?
Let’s analyze this with screencaps since the douchebags at MLB are so overly protective of :15 of video.
As you can see, it appears Jordan Jersey Bro is taller and had a solid play on the ball. Team USA guy, meanwhile, was going up with two hands. Jordan Bro had a beer in his left hand.
Does that affect his ability to catch a HR dong over Team USA bro? Of course it does. That giant ogre has DH hands. No athletic ability. Probably should have be stranded in Boystown wearing that tight jersey.
Someone let us know where we can get the Back-To-Back tank. Gonna rock that one on July 4th.