Bank Robber Claims He Did It Because Dreams Of Making Millions In NFL Derailed [Cuff ‘Em]


Meet Christopher Lamarque Miller. He might have one of the biggest bullshit cop-out excuses in bank robbery history. You see, Miller played some college football at Missouri State, not exactly a school pumping out NFL talent. But Miller had dreams. The guy is now 27 and still hasn’t gotten over the fact that the NFL never came calling. How upset?

He admittedly went and robbed a bank to get NFL rich. Not kidding.

According to the Pioneer Press:

Christopher Lamarque Miller, a former defensive back at Missouri State University, was arrested at his Inver Grove Heights apartment shortly after robbing Bremer Bank on Cahill Avenue, according to a criminal complaint in Dakota County District Court.

Miller told police he had planned on playing in the NFL until he was injured and that he had been “struggling with the fact that he is not a rich and successful football player,” the criminal complaint reads.

He also apologized to police, calling the robbery a “big mistake,” and told them the money was at his apartment. The cash was recovered.

Miller played football for Missouri State University in 2007 before leaving the team and school midway through the 2008 season, an athletic department spokesman said.

Struggling with the fact that he’s not rich and a successful football player? Bro, hate to break it to you but those dreams died the day you became a five-foot-nothing cornerback at Missouri State. No word on if he decided to finish school and get that psychology degree.

How smart is this homeboy? His Twitter account is still wide open and giving us nuggets such as…

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