Joseph Cordes Points Laser Into Eyes Of Girls’ Hockey Goalie [Cuff ‘Em]

You know how we know this parent Joseph Cordes takes his daughter’s hockey games too seriously? How far would you go to help your daughter’s team get an advantage during a high school hockey game? Would you stand in the corner of an arena and shoot a laser pointer into the eyes of the opposing goalie? Are you that crazy? Well, Cordes is. And now the cops want to have a word with Super Dad. 

And how would you feel if your team won a game, 3-1, after you pointed a laser into the eyes of the opposing goalie? So many damn questions, right?

Via CBS Boston:

“I wish I could undo it,” Cordes tells WBZ-TV. “I feel like a complete jerk. It was very stupid, completely immature for a 42-year-old man to be doing that.”

Winthrop went on to win the game 3-1.

Cordes was barred from all events involving Winthrop High School.

“My daughter, the humiliation I put her through is sickening to tell you the truth,” says Cordes.

Medway-Ashland goalie Kathryn Hamer told WBZ-TV that the laser affected her play.

“It’s kind of like when you look at the sun and then you look away you see that spot and you can’t see for a couple of seconds. You shake your head and try to get it out of the system and just keep focusing, but it’s difficult,” she said.

First question for Cordes: Were you drinking? If so, this is perfectly legit behavior. Tell the cops you’ve been hitting the bottle a little too much lately and that you’ll seek help. These suburbanites will feel sorry and eventually open their arms after you complete some stupid rehab program.

Second questions for Cordes: Premeditated? Were you driving your daughter to the rink knowing the whole time you were about to laser point the opposing goalie? If so, something tells us you’re a Gregg Williams fan. Did Joseph Cordes have a bounty program for the Winthrop team. Better have an investigator digging deep into this story. Goodell, you free?

[CBS Boston]