Kurt Warner’s Comtemporary House Is For Sale; $5MM [PHOTOS]

You want to know why it must suck for Kurt Warner to live in this insane Arizona contemporary house with over 11,000 square feet and more swimming holes than the Florida Keys? Because he can’t throw massive keggers and have bikini chicks frolicking on his patio. Remember, dude is a Bible thumper. So, with religion tying him down, it’s time to sell this pad for $5,000,000. And, as a bonus, the realtor got the house its own special on HGTV! 

According to the Zillow listing:

TO BE FEATURED ON HGTV’s CELEBRITY HOMES: HOLIDAY DECORATING FROM THE STARS! This one-of-a-kind contemporary showplace is the perfect blend of modern style, family living and stylish entertaining. Commanding over 11,000 sq/ft, the dramatic 24 high entry foyer with grand circular staircase & elevator lead to 2 master suites w/private patios overlooking diving pool, unique water features, connecting 62 lap pool & spa.

Highlights of Kurt Warner’s Poon-Getting Mansion

• 7 bed, 6.5 baths

• Did someone say two master suites? Perfect for you aspiring polygamists.

• Separate guesthouse!

• Theater

• Bro, that is a contemporary waterfall you could totally turn into a beer fountain

• Um, those bars look like they need to be covered in Playboy chicks

• Windows! Lots of ’em!

• An elevator? We’re in now!

• Previously owned by Roberto Alomar; Warner bought it for $3.3mm

Price: Call it $5,000,000

Mortgage: $19,000 before figuring in maid service and window washers. Extra $5k per month and you’ll also get a pool boy.

[Buy Kurt Warner’s House – Zillow]

[HT: Guyism]