If Joey Chestnut or Takeru Kobayashi are about eating hot dogs, which is disgusting, by the way, then Darren Jones is the best competitive drinker around.
Unfortunately, he maybe doesn’t want that title. Nonetheless, Jones is addicted to Diet Coke. And we’re not fucking around here — he’s really addicted. He downs 18 cans of that crap a day… because he has to.
‘I don’t really drink anything else. When I don’t have it my family says I’m a nightmare to be around.’
And hey, he says it hasn’t even affected his health. Of course, he’s a gigantic human being, so that’s kind of relative.
Jones if from Brinnington, Stockport in England and thankfully, he doesn’t let his children drink Diet Coke. If he did, would that be like a heroin addict jamming a needle in his kid’s arm?
We’re not quite sure, but maybe…
Anyway, this dude has had this habit for 10 years.
As for Coca-Cola the company, well, they don’t give a shit so long as people keep buying the vile liquid they sell. Just buy it, people!
They had this well-crafted, PC public relations statement on Jones’ problem.
“Individual nutritional needs must always be considered when deciding how much of any food or beverage is “right” for you. Drinking more than 6 litres of any liquid exceeds guidance on daily fluid intakes by agencies such as the Food Standards Agency.
“Coca-Cola has a variety of drinks in a range a pack sizes. Our packaging clearly shows caffeine, calorie and sugar content in relation to recommended daily guidelines.
“For those who prefer beverages made without sugar or caffeine, Coca-Cola offers a variety of options that give people choice, including many sugar-free and caffeine-free products. All of our drinks can be enjoyed in moderation as a part of a healthy diet and active lifestyle.”
A better statement might have been, “Hell, this guy gives us so much money, we’ll pay for his funeral and his fat-ass casket when he dies, which will probably be soon. We don’t promote a healthy lifestyle, nor do we have any obligation to. We just make sweet, crack cocaine in a bottle. Resist it if you can!”