Why do we love Fox Sports Mexico or whatever they’re calling it these days? Because that channel is like watching SFW porn and we don’t even have to pay extra for it in the BC office AT&T cable plan. Mamacitas like Jimena Sanchez just appear out of thin air. And they LOVE sports. Take Sanchez. She’s a huge Oakland Raiders, New York Yankees, Lakers and Babe Ruth fan. Seriously. She has a Ruth poster hanging in her home.
What exactly does our new love do for Fox Sports? Duh, they send her to soccer matches and she’s like Erin Andrews on steroids and red beans and rice. Holy Hell! What exactly are they feeding these Mexican sideline reporters? Not sure, but ESPN might want to go on a reconnaissance mission.
Like parachute right into Mexico City and kidnap (just borrowing, really) one of Fox’s mamacitas. The 5-9, 36D, size 2 sideline reporter is then flown directly to Bristol where doctors study this specimen to learn more about their amazing diet, giant racks and knack for flipping their wavy hair in a way that makes Mexican men weep.
After a long, three-day weekend the mamacita is flown back into enemy territory by WWL paramilitary. Fox Sports execs suspected ESPN all along. An announcement is made across all Fox properties that their sideline reporters should be placed on lockdown until needed at some big match in Toluca.
Anyway, Jimena is a Raiders fan. Your move Chargers Nation. Send a candidate.