Kate Upton is 19. Keep reminding yourself of that. 19. Like, born in 1992. Anyway, Kate and a friend, fellow model Lizzy Glynn, took a stretched Hummer to MetLife for last night’s Dolphins-Jets game. Look, there is plenty of sh$% in life that’s unfair and not being in that Hummer is one of the biggest kick in the balls we’ve had to endure. Of course nothing major happened in the Hummer. Just two models rolling around NYC and through the Lincoln Tunnel.
Glynn tweeted last night:
Private dance party by
@KateUpton. Be jealous boys.
Then Glynn uploaded a d#$%tease shot of Kate in a sheer top and black bra. See, this is why the youth who reads this garbage and live in southern Wyoming have to get your ass in gear and pack up the Ford F-150 for greener pastures. Get to NYC and breath the air. Sure, the first whiff will smell like a dog dropped a deuce under your nose.
But then the wind will change direction and the sweet scent of 19-year-old supermodels will permeate your Wyoming nostrils.
I have long legs we need a hummer stretch
Imagine your Wyoming-raised ass in a land where 19-year-old models with racks straight from the hands of God living around you like cattle on that ranch back home. This is what you’re missing out on. Dolphins-Jets games. Sports Illustrated model parties. Stretched Hummers.
Now, we can’t promise you’ll cross the George Washington Bridge and instantly thrusted into the cleavage of a 19-year-old model sought out by the entire defensive line of the New York Jets. Worst case scenario: you pack up that F-150 and head home to a miserable life back in Wyoming with memories to last a lifetime.