Kardashian Bachelorette Party = Midget Stripper; Humphries Bash = Sausage Fest [Photos]

Our dream of Kim Kardashian going to Vegas this weekend and having her giant ass deflated during a skydiving incident over the Stratosphere didn’t come to fruition. Instead, how about a giant stuffing of Bachelorette/Bachelor weekend fun from the Kardashian/Humphries camps? Oh, yes please. Over/Under on how many years Kris Humphries can take of this garbage? 1 year, 9 months.

The line keeps going lower and lower as gamblers grab the UNDER at an alarming rate after learning Humphries was forced to have his bachelor Vegas weekend the same weekend as Kim’s party. Guys, this is what happens when you marry up the money tree. If she has more Benjys, she (even before marriage) makes more decisions about your life. You want to take a free agent contract for more money to play in Utah? Um, no you’ll take $1mm less to play for the Clippers. Just a future scenario.

So instead of Kris and a few bros hitting Vegas to blow some cash on Pai Gow and Rick’s Cabaret strippers, dude is forced to have cameras following him around Tao Beach. No thanks.

Meanwhile, the Kardashian crew knew how to entertain the E! cameras with a male dancer jumping on a table and giving Kim a show. Oh, hell yeah we’ll be watching that in November on a Thursday night instead of college football.

LeBron To Star In ‘Goofy Ass Wolverine In The Hipster Hood’ [Morning Twitpic]
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