Wow, what a Wednesday here at Busted Coverage. Kevin the Intern was busting through his duties with the Afternoon Dump when we showed him a new gallery of outtakes from Kate Upton’s weekend work in Miami. “That’s it, you figure out how to make it happen and I’ll have sex with her,” Kevin announced to the entire office. Woah, easy Tiger. You’ll have to beat away 3/4 of the NFL and 4/4 of the NBA. Sister is in demand.
For some reason Kev just thinks we pick up a secret rotary dial phone and hotline into Kate’s apartment. Not true. This kind of stuff takes time. She’s 19 and getting more marriage proposals than one human can possibly wrap their minds around.
But we promised to pull some strings. He was told that there is no guarantee Upton will take his virginity, but that maybe she’ll send him a birthday card.
“Dude, seriously, tell her Oct. 1 is Notre Dame weekend and there is going to be this crazy kegger,” Kev reported. “It’s a night game and my roommate will be in Bloomington. We’ll have the place to ourselves.”
So there you have it, Kev’s plan to lose his virginity to the world’s hottest swimsuit model of the 21st Century.
Dreamin’ big. That’s why we hired the guy. From a nobody to a somebody.
*44 outtakes from Upton destroying Miami. Can you ever see too many? No.