The Greastest Tweets in the History of the Internet* (*In The Last 24 Hours)
WICKED SMAHT! Bruins 4 – Rioters 0
@TommyFrmQuinzee: Hey Vancoovah! Owah injahed playah is mo-ah inspahrational than yo-ah injahed playah!
Brilliant way to start the tweets for Game 7. Boston accents vs Canadian accents. It’s a sweep. Canucks can’t even come close.
@AlbertBreer: Just hit me … Know who Luongo reminds me of? Mike Vanderjagt. Seriously. #IdiotKicker
Pretty dead on. Vanderjagt was automatic for years, and then BAM out of nowhere, he couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. Luongo was amazing at home, and sucked on the road, so he was pretty much like my ex. Not the best way for him to end the season.
@HiMyNameIsSeton: Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but does anyone else get tired of hearing the Dropkick Murphys anytime the city of Boston is mentioned?
No….In fact, “Shipping Up to Boston” should be the official theme song of the entire city. Hell, the entire state. If that song can’t get you pumped to rip someone’s head off, then you have zero pulse and/or testicles.
Here’s another crazy stat. On October 27, 2004 I had a bowel movement. Last night, I had a bowel movement. Yet another sign that the Bruins were destined to win.
@AdamRichman: I have a feeling this guy won’t be the starting goalie for very much Luongo.
Bravo……please remove you hand from the mouse, and provide this man an internet golf clap. Well deserved Sir.
Grand Theft Auto: Vancouver
@Mobute: So apparently with Canada the trade off is that you get universal healthcare, but a hockey loss turns downtown into Mogadishu.
Vancouver gave West Virginia a good run for their money last night. At what point does rioting seem like a good idea? The liquor stores closed at 4pm in Vancouver yesterday…..Are they smoking angry weed up there?
@TheSportsHernia: To the Vancouver Riot Police: May I recommend the Contra Spread gun?
Contra Spread Gun was damn solid. Not as good as the RPD with a grip from Call of Duty 4, but pretty close.
@Madcowheff: Who wins in a fight: David Stern or Gary Bettman?
Stern would be a -375 favorite in Vegas. Not only would Stern soundly defeat Bettman, but Bettman’s body would make Hoffa’s seem easy to find. Roger Goodell would win over all the major sports commish’s, and yes, Bud Selig would throw nothing but slaps.
@TheSportsMole: BREAKING: Dallas Mavericks DeShawn Stevenson was arrested last night in Irving for public intoxication.
Which lead to this….@MRudolphComedy: Shocking mugshot of Deshawn Stevenson.
@TigerWoods: Last time I missed a USGA event Salt N Peppa was still cool and Whitehead was a toddler.
Ballsy by Eldrick to use the group that had a hit called “Let’s Talk About Sex”. With that said, Tiger taking to Twitter has done a ton for image rehab. Makes him seem real. I dig it.
@LarryFitzgerald: Sex w/ the A/C off RT @PNeckles: what would you suggest a working mother w/ little time to do for rapid weightloss?Est 20 to 30lbs to lose
Dammmmmmn Larry. That’s cold…..and so true. Don’t ever change.
@Andrew_B_Carter: #Dolphins RB Daniel Thomas “deeply saddened” his name was used w/out permission to promote a “Porn Star Exxxtravaganza” in Miami.
Considering I’ve never heard of Daniel Thomas, I guessing the Porn Star Exxxtravaganza in Miami wasn’t exactly Vivid A listers. I guessing it was mostly the cast of Amish Amputees 4: Abram’s Revenge
Drop Dead Gorgeous Up and Coming Sports Reporter Follow Of The Day