Cuff ‘Em: Guess What This Floridian Was Hiding In Her Cooch… Nick Nolte’s Career (Just Kidding)

Yep, back to Florida we go this morning because this is the state that just won’t stop giving.

Could we just do another stupid story on a football player landing a DUI or getting tased while going naked three-point stance on Oregon cops? We could.

And you’d be bored.

Or…we can play “Guess What’s In This Dancer/Housewife’s Cooch!”

Elizabeth Athenia Progris is just trying to make it through this economic downturn without losing her mind. She dances at some bar where dudes are going blind and don’t mind beef tips in their faces from a 22-year-old that appears to be 38.

We suppose the drugs will do that.

Take  it away TCPalm and tell us “What’s In This 22-Year-Old Dancer/Housewife’s Cooch!”

The case of the dropping drugs went down Aug. 13 at the Martin County jail after the 22-year-old “dancer/housewife” got booked in and showered, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

Before being booked, Progris told investigators she had nothing illegal or not allowed in jail on her. A detective told her if she had such items, she could be charged. Progris, of the 800 block of Northwest 11th Trail in Stuart, said she understood and had nothing.

After Progris was booked, a deputy escorted her to the shower area. Progris showered and was drying off when a deputy noticed a clear bag drop “from her genital area to the floor by her feet.”

The deputy got the bag and saw several pills, which later were identified as generic Xanax.

TCPalm has the entire police report in case that’s something you enjoy while wasting company time.

We have yet another 2010 Cuff ‘Em Criminal Of The Year candidate for the mugshot alone. We love our jobs.
[‘Dancer/housewife’ busted after deputies see bag fall from ‘genital area’]

Daily Dump: Larry Johnson’s $400 Tip For Liquor, Emmanuelle Chriqui In Lingerie, Irina Shayk Flirting, Kenny Powers Vs. Rob Dibble, Rod Allen Drinking Game 2.0, Chantelle’s Big Brother U.K. Rackage & Britney Spears In Yellow Bikini
Read More:
Cuff 'Em,Features