If Gus Johnson Called Play-By-Play Of Tiger Woods-Joslyn James Sex-capades

We’re now two days into the NCAA tournament and one thing stands out from our TV viewing.

Gus Johnson hasn’t lost a step as those of you who were watching the Buffalo side of the bracket yesterday can attest.

There was another big story this week and that was the sext message revelations from the porn star Tiger Woods was banging. Joslyn James released some, um, steamy texts that Tiger allegedly sent to her.

Our favorite from Tiger: “After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard”

So we figured, why not use the Gus Johnson Soundboard to pretend that the CBS announcer was doing the play-by-play of Tiger banging Ms. James.

Here is the link to the soundboard where all the Gus magic will take place.

Scenario #1: (play as quick as you possibly can)

This is as good as it gets

Mr. Clutch

Working Hard


Here Comes The Pain

And Buries It



Stuff Back In

OHHHHHHHH! (repeat sound 5X)



Stuff Back In

Let’s It Go

And It’s Over!

Scenario #2:

Got It Up And In

Stuff Back In (repeat 15-20 times)

Penetrating (3-5 times)