Tim Lincecum ESPN Dunk Tank FAIL! Giant UMass Mascot Too Weighty For Dunking



ESPN seems to be getting plenty of use this week out of its dunk tank.

First it was Colin Cowdork getting wet on that smash pop culture hit SportsNation. Then there yesterday’s showdown between fireballer Tim Lincecum and the UMass mascot.

And, as is the case in the 21st Century, Sam The Minuteman blogged about his dunking.

The premise for this commercial was that two-time Cy Young Award winner Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants was going to be firing fastballs trying to dunk me into a tank. Sounds like fun… right? I was pumped to get to meet the man with the 100-mile per hour fastball. Tuesday couldn’t get here soon enough.

Sam goes on to say ESPN hired a car service to transport him and the costume to Bristol. Oh, and he got to meet Van Pelt.


But the real action got started when Cy Young Award-Winner Tim Lincecum tried to actually hit the target to sink Sam.

Pitch after pitch after pitch and nothing.

I heard the balls hitting the plunger but I wasn’t getting dunked. What was going on? Was it some kind of hoax? Surely Tim threw the ball hard enough. I could hear the seams of the balls buzzing each time. They had to be going about 80 to 90 miles per hour. But still no water.

After about 15 pitches, Tim moved about 10 feet closer, thinking that would make the plunger push in and submerge me. But nope that didn’t work either. The right-hander was getting a little frustrated, he even threw a ball or two left-handed. I was worried one might hit me, but it didn’t.

Finally after about 30 pitches Tim had had it. I saw him moving closer and closer to me. What was he going to do?

He walked right up to the tank and pushed in the plunger and kaboom! I fell into the water. The water was warm, even a little hot. But that wasn’t the issue. It was the weight!

Seriously? 30 pitches and nothing?

$100 bones says Tim had to light up a joint to calm his nerves after all that pressure to appease ESPN and their equipment wasn’t up to speed.

C’mon, ESPN. Test the dunk tank before bringing out the talent. Get Van Pelt and Stu Scott on it at the same time. Berman and Bilas. A giant rock. Something.

[Sam The Minuteman’s Wet ESPN Adventure]


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