Pedro Martinez Can Now Go Back To Being Fat, Drunken Jheri Curled Future Hall Of Famer


So long, buddy.

We expect this will be the final time a national TV audience will ever see your right arm give up a beach ball blast to a Yankees high-priced free agent.

It was a great run while it lasted but the Phillies should be ashamed of throwing you to the wolves when that right shoulder is only capable of 86 mph fastballs and off-speed pitches that don’t spot very well.


It’s time to head back to the D.R. and getting back to what you were doing well before Charlie came calling.

Get drunk, toy with the ladies and we’ll see you in Cooperstown.

So long Jheri Curl.