Cuff ‘Em: Australian Footballer Performs Sex Act On Parking Meter, Fined $150 AU



Disclaimer: not Adam Michael Kelly.

A very wise person once said “You’ll learn a life lesson every single day of your life.”

Aussie footballer (rugby) Adam Michael Kelly learned this week that performing a sex act on a parking meter costs $150 and be humiliated as the story moves around the world.

Not that Kelly should be totally ashamed by his performance during a drunken night back in August. He did have some pretty good game trying to seduce the meter, according to court records.

From the local Australian media who actually were paid a day’s wage to cover Kelly’s court case:

On August 3, police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets, where they found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: “Yeah baby, you know you want it.”

The Cairns & District Rugby League player might have gotten away with the buffonery but then verbally assaulted a woman passing by.

Then, while talking to police, a woman of Asian appearance walked by and in a loud voice Kelly looked at her and said “f—ing gook, f— off home”, said (prosecutor) Long.

We’re not sure what f@ck off home means so if you are from Australia and can translate, we’d appreciate it.

Look, we’ve been drunk, but never to the point where a parking meter could double for a POA. It’s a little too stiff for our tastes. What this guy really needs when he gets bombed is the Hiney Can. It solves all issues.

[Sex by the meter costly – Cairns Post]

I started Busted in 2007, sold it in 2011 and Coed kept me around to run this operation. Based in Ohio. Contact me: @bustedcoverage
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