John Daly Weighs In On Obama Health Care Plan: Lap Bands For Fat Ass Americans!


If anyone knows how to solve the issue of Americans being enourmously fat f@cks, it is John Daly.

Just ask the big slimmed down cult-hero golfer.

Fed up with politicians weighing in on health care, the media has turned to the quote machine. Daly says the solution to Americans looking like bloated pigs is simple – his health plan. Lap Bands.

That’s right, pigs, Daly wants you to have a rubber band installed in that stomach to make you quit eating 60 chicken wings in one sitting.


“They talk about how many people are obese in this world, in our country,” Daly said. “Obama’s talking about how he’s going to cure the health plan, that should be part of it if you want to cure obesity.”

Daly is so sure of this form of diet that his 17-year-old daughter has undergone the same surgery.

“I’m a proven fact that you don’t have to go run and work out and do all that to lose weight,” Daly said. “This Lap-Band thing, this technology is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Big John goes on to talk about how f@cked up his game is, how he might not enter the PGA Championship and how he can’t stomach eating an extra large meat lovers anymore. Ok, so we made up the last part of that sentence.

Anyway, the news here is that John Daly once again speaks the truth. Obama can kill a few birds with one stone.

Fat people will get slim, quit eating so much, reducing trash, Mickey D’s wrappers, etc.

They won’t need giant SUVs, which will save us on oil consumption. The same weight losers won’t need a 3,000-sq. ft. house for a family of 4 to live comfortably which will reduce energy usage.

Come to think of it….John Daly is a genius.

[John Daly, for all his complexity, is first and foremost a golfer – The Oregonian]