NFL Cheerleader Stimulus Package: Baltimore Ravens Should Have Shot Bikini Calendar In The U.S.!!!


Somehow, someway the ladies who cheer on Ray Lewis and that unibrow guy managed to battle the elements in some exotic locale to produce a 2009-2010 bikini calendar that’ll be lusted after by thousands of degenerate Ravens’ fans.

The Baltimore Ravens cheerleaders were recently flown to the Bahamas (presumably with only one carry-on stuffed with 8-10 different bikinis) to partake in sun, photoshoots and showing off inflated chests.

These are the photos that returned, taken by the salon who prettied the hair that’ll be examined by bored men who dream of one night eating chicken wings, watching football and having any of these women in his presence.

Give it up, fat boys. It’s not happening with women of this caliber.


Here is what we’ve been thinking about this morning.

Isn’t it time to start shooting these calendars in some different locales, like Lake Erie or something strange like that? Fly these women to some remote fishing cabin on Lake Superior and have them casting some poles or laying on the exotic beaches of Lake Huron. Ever see that blue water? Breathtaking.

Something. Keep the money in the U.S. Consider it a Cheerleader Stimulus Package.

Maybe like the Ohio River during one of those big boat weekends. Maybe doing some keg stands with the infamous Iowa community college president Robert Paxton.

Going to Aruba is so pre-Madoff.

We get the “dream about this woman and you on a deserted island,” theme. We’ve been wasting money on this dream since the age of 12. It hasn’t happened in 15 years and with this body and wallet, probably not happening in the next 30, either.

This is a down economy. BC is thinking of a hot shoot at some hot springs, steam rising from the pool of water. Hell, Reykjavik could use the business since we screwed them in the stock market collapse. Take a crew up there from Boston and let the ladies go crazy.

Maybe next year.


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