A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through “Bling” fashion and generally accepted “thug life” guiding principles.
Is Micheal Phelps The World’s Most Famous Athletic ‘Wigger’?
Smokes water bongs: check
Gets paid by the man to pimp out watches: check
Listens to hip hop before ‘performing’: Yes, Lil Wayne
Street cred hometown: Baltimore, suburbs (check-mate) – there are Chipotle’s and new condo developments
Wears hat tilted to side to emulate hip hop life (with collar pop): check
Likes women with big racks and slightly Asian: Inconclusive. He no longer has her in the stable.
Court cases: 1. DUI. (a famous white guy pissing of MADD gets you some bonus points)
Athletic accomplishments vs. celebrity appeal: The guy swims 2 weeks every 4 years and is considered to be the biggest non-mainstream sports icon in American pop culture. For that reason alone, combined with his hip hop attributes, Michael Phelps is America’s Most Famous Athletic ‘Wigger.’
Photographic evidence of Phelps’ wigger abilities after the jump.
Make sure the ladies can see skin and the boxers as you act like a moron at the clubs. Check.
Make sure you are on stage and right in front so all the other wiggers have to take notice of your rhythm and style. Points taken off for lack of crystal and every wrist, neckline, or ears. A tat would be a nice addition.
Rolls 12 deep at his own private Palms cabana. No Coldplay playing when Michael P. is poolside.
Has a big ass Mexian running security detail. Would have been better if the big dude was a little darker. Black celebs don’t really like the Mexicans and vice versa.
One thing Phelps has learned quickly as a top athletic wigger: always make a huge scene when exiting your cabana. Huge loss of points for old people in photo unless they are your future record deal agents.