Busted Coverage Investigation: NBA Now Importing Foreign Dancers To Take American Jobs, Timberwolves On Notice

From Australian beaches to lovely Minnesota.

*Wait until Lou Dobbs hears about this one.

It wasn’t so bad when Mexico was sending over women with a very limited vocabulary to clean toilets and make beds.

Our American hotel industry would collapse without Maria to harass for more 2 oz. bottles of cheap conditioner and bars of soap.

We weren’t even disturbed when the Costa Ricans were exporting labor to sod yards, pull weeds and run irrigation systems for wealthy Hollywood types.

But what really gets us fired up is when the NBA starts importing dancers to take roster spots that should belong to our very own young ladies with dreams of becoming Dunking Divas.

The Minnesota Timberwolves have gone and imported Ashley, an Australian 21-year-old to shake it for the Carhartt-wearing locals.

Surely young Ashley is a great woman.

She seems to have aspirations. But her NBA knowledge is limited after coming over from the Australia basketball league where she performed for the Adelaide 36ers.

From a recent interview:

MT: How did your squad get it’s name?
Ashley: The 36ers started in 1936, so that’s it. Is that like the Philadelphia 76ers here?

MT: I think the 76ers name comes from the year of America’s independence from Great Britain, in 1776, because the Declaration of Independence was signed in Philly.
Ashley: Yeah our name was just for the year the club started.

Oh, dear God.

This is what we’re talking about. At least our American women know that Kobe likes Colorado retreats, Ron Artest is dangerous and Stephon Marbury is a greedy bastard.

This better not become a trend. When the 76ers start giving up roster spots for some Indian chick, we’re out.

A parting shot:

MT: What would you call one of your girlfriends Down Under if she were annoying you?
Ashley: Maybe “You cow.”

MT: Wow. What else?
Ashley: Oh I don’t know, I don’t really curse.

[Ashley @ MySpace]