Creating The 6-Tool Sideline Reporter: Brains, Sports Knowledge, Looks, Interviewing Skills, Intangibles, Etc.


Once again there seems to be more debate over a fresh face on the television sports reporter circuit.

On Tuesday

Sports Knowledge:

Looks: Melanie Collins

No contest. Hands down, Ms. Collins. She’s in her early 20s, hasn’t been corrupted by road pops (i.e. late night 23 oz. drafts at BW3), and looks really friggin’ good in a bikini. Take our word for it, we’ve researched this subject over many late-night sessions. Take this body and put Suzy’s brains together and you have a two-tool threat.


Middle, black and white stripes.

Interviewing Skills:

Intangibles: Erin Andrews

She was the pioneer of this profession and knows the ropes. When building the ultimate sideline reporter, we want her connections. At 30, Ms. Andrews has been to war. Her experience combined with Suzy’s film breakdown and the young, hot body of Melanie, plus Kristen’s mic skills and we are really close to our 5-Tool Sideline Reporter.



Taking Carrie’s determination and combining it with the rest of these skills would give the American male the greatest woman ever created.

She would know a Cover 2 defense, look hot in a bikini on a beach, want to watch ESPN Classic, be able to hold a conversation with Bob Feller, garner press passes for you and be determined to make a great post-game meal.

In our dreams…

The Next Erin Andrews: Big Ten Network’s Melanie Collins Was A Bikini Model
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