Grading The Naked Playboy Girls Of The Big Ten

Update: The photos you are looking for are gone. Go buy the magazine. In the meantime, visit our other posts featuring hot chicks. You’ll enjoy them just as much.

We continue our continuing special team coverage of the Girls of the Big Ten Playboy issue by taking an actual look at the ladies in all their glory thanks to the fine folks at

Consider this the “Big Ten Naked Chicks Combine.”

Contestants are graded on looks, clothing choice and whatever else catches our eye. A 5-star system will be used (1-star=not in our bed).

Remember, we will not show you the nudity. You can breathe easy because our censors guarantee you’ll keep your job and our advertisers won’t leave us.


Jaime (OSU) 5 Stars: There is no use waiting to praise this Buckeye for her figure. Bonus points for lack of clothing. If you are going to shock your family, go balls to the walls.

Nikki (Purdue) 3 Stars: We don’t have enough to go on with that giant sax in the way. C’mon, honey, it’s Playboy, not the New York Philharmonic 2009 calendar. Let’s see some skin!

Maria (Northwestern) 2 Stars: Jesus H. What the hell is with the two tone boobs? Hello! The 80s called and want their boobs back. And the boots are horrible. If there was ever a candidate for 1-star, Maria would be it. However, we are pretty decent guys.

Julia (Illinois) 2.5 Stars: This chick reminds us of the ladies prowling Canadian strip clubs. The hair screams Windsor, Ontario. Change the hair, get rid of the jorts and maybe we can talk. Otherwise coed is in the C+ range.

Mallory (Iowa) 3 Stars: Lack of clothes was a good choice. Positioning not so good. Hair looks modern. Posing on your stomach costs stars. We’ve seen many photos of Mallory and she is a sleeper in this group of ladies.

The IU Chicks (Above) 4 Stars: More boob action would make this trio a 5-star group. The hair works, the shirts are perfect and the tailgating theme intrigues us.

Maxine (Northwestern) 4 Stars: Where the hell did this chick come from? She goes to NU? Something is wrong here. She is actually hot, smart and doesn’t mind getting naked for a magazine. If only we were 10 years younger and had our own nudie mag.

Minnesota Ladies (Above) 2 Stars: Chelsie is hot but not showing the goods. Party foul. The other end, Lisa gets the job done but again, no goods. The problem here is that those two are propping up the other duo. And we’re not talking super models here. Abby must have a relative at Playboy.

Kelsey (Ohio State) 4.5 Stars: The hair tells us she’s great in the sack. The tat reinforces that impression. The ribs are attractive. This student misses the perfect score due to the lack of full nudity.

Lindsey (Iowa) 4 Stars: The school girl outfit is cliche but we’re down. The only disappointment here is the shoe selection. Blue? Our gay photo editor says go with black or red.

Missy (Minnesota) 5 Stars: Do yourself a favor and see this chick uncensored photo. Her parents should be so proud. We’ll let the photo speak for itself. Congrats, Missy, now you’ll forever be a favorite of 53-year-old men old enough to be your father.

Andrea (Wisconsin) 4 Stars: She’s hot but needs to show more for the ultimate ranking. Not normal Playboy hot, but this chick walking across campus turns heads.

MSU Ladies (Above) 4 Stars: After all we know about the Sparty women it’s easy to make the ladies recipients of 4 stars. They party, get naked and even make visits to Ann Arbor. Sometimes looks can be overshadowed by personality.

Taylor (Indiana) 3.5 Stars: The implants are not that great. The pantie selection was critical to getting into the B+ range. She has tons of potential. A little Photoshop on the chest and she’s in business.

Victoria (Indiana) 4 Stars: Take a closer look at the unedited version and you’ll understand our ranking. Those legs are speaking to us.

Michigan Ladies (Above) 2 Stars: The one on the left has some crazy knee action going on. Her face isn’t that impressive and the one on the right looks to be sporting a minor beer belly. Sorry ladies.

There are 3 more sets of photos. Judge for yourself. There are some 4 stars mixed in if you look hard enough. Take your own grading to the comments section.