It appears the Alabama penal system just got itself a new recruitÂ
â€œCuff â€˜Emâ€ is a daily look at whoâ€™s in trouble with the law. Itâ€™s our hope to limit this to 5 sports-related morons, but it can be modified at our discretion or if there is a sudden outbreak of superior stupidity.
- Alabama linebacker Jimmy Johns was making extra coin selling coke, the fuzz reports. Those damn gas prices make these football players do some stupid shit. Of course Saban came down hard on Johns by telling him to hit the road. What, no “we’re gathering the facts,” bullshit.
- Just your typical golf course bar fight where a guy is hit in the face with a 9 mm and the gun goes off, miraclously not hitting anyone.
- And let’s close this down with a visit to Tulsa, Oklahoma where a derelict woman fell into a swollen river to get a basketball. No shit. “The woman was lying on the debris and drinking from a liquor bottle when authorities pulled her from the water,” the Tulsa World reports.