The Perfect Diet For Fat Kids: Be An Exchange Student

Nice 16-pack. You must workout?

The Associated Press is reporting on the depressing tale of an American exchange student who returned to his family looking like an Ethiopian minus the dark tan. “Jonathan McCullum was in perfect health at 155 pounds when he left last summer to spend the school year as an exchange student in Egypt,” says the AP.

But our boy Jonathan returned home with this very emo belly better suited for a bodybuilding exhibition in the under-95 lb. category. And his parents are slightly pissed. They see a potential lawsuit. We actually see an Oprah appearance.

The host father is not pleased with this defamation of character. “The truth is, the boy we hosted for nearly six months was eating for an hour and a half at every meal. The amount of food he ate at each meal was equal to six people,” evil host dad said.

1.5 hours, chief? So you’re saying Jonathan would yak an extended SportsCenter worth of food so he could break that sub-95 mark? These kids nowadays will do whatever it takes to make weight.

The 26X32 jeans will probably be baggy.