Listen, before we even go any further, let us explain that we cannot show the bare ass of #6 from the Philadelphia Passion from Friday's LFL opener for the home team and the Tampa Breeze. Company policy, morons. Anyway, that's Marirose Roach, the 2010 LFL Offensive Player of the Year. She went for 102 and five touchdowns in the 48-0 trouncing of Tampa. But you guys aren't here for the game. You want malfunctions. JUMP!