Via BC Afternoon Editor Monty: We're not sure if this is a happy story or a sad story, but it's sure as helluva story. You know those assholes who shove hot dogs down their throats and call themselves athletes? Well, if Darren Jones wanted to be an athlete in that sense (we mean a completely bullshit sense), he could be a competitive drinker. Unfortunately, we're not talking about booze. We're talking about Diet Coke. Check it!