Why are we just seeing this at 8 a.m. on Friday? Because Matt The Screencapper didn't cap it in his Champs Bowl report last night. He has received an official warning that if such 69ing isn't in posts from today's games, his ass will be looking for another screencapping job. Seriously, we have to find this via some loser named @g_schrage52. Anyway, HUGE day of college football. Four games with the first kickoff at Noon. Gonna be a shitton of drunks. Let's get rolling!
The Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III and the Baylor Bears took on the Washington Huskies in the Valero Alamo Bowl The crowd in this game was the tamest crowd ever seen. I guess that is what happens when you put sedatives in the water supply. At least Washington has hot Cheerleaders or I would have fallen asleep watching RGII dissect the defense. RGII's family was in the stands today in which zero shits were given by their facial emotions. They already know he is going in the first round. JUMP!
Of course he drinks FRS Energy Drinks at the Shag Lounge in downtown Denver. Seriously, if we owned a bar in Denver our asses would be changing the name to something based on Tebow. Test that bitch in a court of law over copyright on the Tebow name. Find a variation of Tebow _____ that his lawyers won't throw a lawsuit on. Call it SWOBET. In this economy, you're one Tebow PR move away from sipping cocktails on a yacht in the Caribbean. (via @RonZuke)
This Florida State Seminole fan did not have a real good time at the Champs Sports Bowl against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. The only explanation for why this mediocre team is pounding the Seminoles is divine intervention since Notre Dame is a well known Catholic school. Touchdown Jesus may have made sure Michael Floyd was actually sober for this game. Not even ESPN sideline reporter Holly Rowe who had at least 5 lbs of makeup on could help the Noles. JUMP!
If you want to get into MetLife Stadium to see the New York Giants battle the Dallas Cowboys for the NFC East title on Sunday night you're going to pay... through the nose. Tickets are going for up to $10,000 and suites are going for $25,000. Even a cheap seats, beers and dogs will cost you more than $500 by the time all is said and done. We'll tell you who will be bending you over and for how much and do the math for you. Check it!
Yes, we're on a T.O. Twitter kick. At times it seems his account has been hacked. Five minutes later he delivers a coherent tweet, making us believe he's all there. As noted yesterday, he's been begging the 49ers for Braylon Edwards' gig. Dude was still prattling about his career last night but took the time to mentor a couple of Twitter hoes about to have some cybersex. Kash is a big black 'ho with a giant ass. Um, & the girls now claim T.O. wants to party. Dude is so much fun.
NYC-based makeup artist @malinmurias typed on Tuesday: The Cowboy Jerry Jones definitely knows how to party! What a night
@mokaimiami. What else is going on this morning? NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne finds himself in a breastfeeding Twitter scandal which eventually led to him calling some woman "a dumb bitch." The tweets have been deleted but our friends at Funny Athlete Tweets have the incriminating screencaps. Let's get rolling!
This hefty Texas Longhorn fan showed up nice and drunk to root against the California Bears in the Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl. BC would like to salute all of you crazy ass sombrero wearing drunken fans. You make screencapping fun. Also, a couple douchebag Michigan Wolverine fans and Southern California Trojan fans showed up on broadcast. If you can't cheer for a team, get the hell out of the stadium. JUMP!
Would the 49ers do something very, very stupid to fill the spot left after Braylon Edwards was released on Tuesday? So stupid like resigning Terrell Owens? Just in time for the playoffs? Crazy, right? Then the tweets start flowing from T.O.'s fingers. He's tweeting Donte Whitner and even hit send on this gem from some guest coaching gig: Met the West Team of the Offense-Defense, now headed back 2 Sam Houston High School 2 workout!! Gotta stay ready!! Still time, 49ers fan.
The Military Bowl between the Toledo Rockets and the Air Force Falcons was filled with insane amounts of scoring and tons of shameless corporate sponsorship. I guess someone had to pay for the billion dollar Stealth Fighter flyover which was totally bad ass. A MAC conference team was in this game so you know what that means. No defense and a million points scored. If you hate MACtion, then you obviously hate America and the Military Bowl. JUMP!
In Euro sports leagues Destiny Newton would be splashed across tabloids & the subject of great interest to sports fanatics. In the U.S., she's unknown. A Twitter search results in zero mentions. Meanwhile, this is the girlfriend of Aaron Rodgers, a quarterback who is putting together two of the greatest back-to-back NFL seasons in football history. How is it possible for a Super Bowl champion QB's girlfriend to remain so quiet? No idea, but that may soon change. JUMP!
Major Twitter news for the tabloids & us sleazy bloggers who have made fortunes on the Tiger Woods divorce. Rachel Uchitel, usually referenced as the hot Tiger Woods' mistress, announced last night that she is five months pregnant thanks to the handy work of her new husband & former Penn State fullback Matty Hahn. Dude hit the wife lottery (rich & she has her private detective certification) & now he'll likely get a baby reality show! JUMP!
Oregon stud RB LaMichael James & the Ducks yesterday got the VIP experience at Disneyland where one of the Rose Bowl gifts was the chance to ride Space Mountain. And then LaMichael James made a roller coaster face. The Internet went nuts. There is also news of Oregon football players getting stuck on a hotel elevator. But all focus is on James & the face. His teammate Kenjon Barner uploaded this gem & it is now part of this list of great roller coaster faces. JUMP!
Bill Maher made one little tweet on Christmas Eve about Tim Tebow and all of a sudden the Christian elitists are all up in arms over the use of f@$k, Hitler, Satan in the same tweet. Said Maher: Wow, Jesus just f*(ked
#TimTebow bad! And on Xmas Eve! Somewhere in hell Satan is tebowing, saying to Hitler "Hey, Buffalo's killing them" Of course that got passed around & the Christians are all #SMH & #LIBERALTRASH. Oh, and there's a bonus...Pro Bowl f-bombs! JUMP!
We live in a three dimensional world and sometimes it can be tough to tell which one to hold your sign into. Rule of thumb, hold it so the camera reads it so it isn't backwards Louisville Carinal fans. The NC State Wolfpack, who is coached by Tom O'Brien, pretty much has nothing to give after giving up Russell Wilson to Wisconsin. Also, the weird Louisville bird kid made it on ESPN. Congratulations you weird little bird bastard. JUMP!
Prime Time! Or, if you've seen that stupid commercial, The Prime... if you're into the whole brevity thing. Deion Sanders and his wife Pilar are getting divorced. As you might expect, this is about to turn ugly. Through her attorney, Pilar claims she didn't find out about the divorce proceedings until she read about it in the media. We're not sure how believable that is, but we've got the claims and a little background on old Neon Deion. It's gonna get ugly! Check it!