Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has the goods... and we mean that in a totally non-sexual way. He has the goods on the field. He can play. And play he will, in his first Pro Bowl in his first season. Granted, he was a replacement for Eli Manning, but he's already taken a step to differentiate himself from anyone else by wearing a pair of orange and yellow papier-mâché shoes. Guess the first thing about being unstoppable is thinking you can't be stopped. Check it!
Guess who has a crush on Baby Jesus. That's right Kim Kardashian is in love with Teboner. So what do you think the virgin had to say the failed porn star? Not a hell of a lot, as you might expect. She saw ratings for her TV show. He saw... hmmmm... probably bullshit. So, it was a match not made in heaven, as it were. We're sure Timmy will find the right woman eventually and we're sure Kim will probably get cancelled eventually. Godspeed. JUMP!
The guy used to be cool when he was tweeting rock 'n roll lyrics. He was the greatest when giving fans NFL tickets for trivia answers. Fans were pumped when Jim Irsay announced he would give Super Bowl tickets to one of his Twitter followers. And now he's publicly beefing with Peyton Manning as the Super Bowl comes to town. As you'd expect, Twitter has turned on Rob Lowe's buddy. Irsay suddenly doesn't want Manning making public comments. Wrong. JUMP!
At this point it's going to take live white tigers eating raw meat in a Pepsi Super Bowl display to shock us. Just when it seemed the bar had risen to an unbeatable level, some Pepsi/Frito Lay guys decided to drive a full-size truck into an Albertsons for display purposes. And we really mean they drove it into the store. Right through the front door. JUMP!
Are you guys looking to pay off a credit card bill? Keep the lights turned on? Need a 100-inch LCD TV? Pay off a divorce lawyer bill? DORITOS is back for the 2012 Super Bowl and needs you to help pick one of the two fan-made finalist ads that will air during the Super Bowl. Don't worry, DORITOS has something for you, too. For every 100,000 votes, somebody is going to win $10,000, up to a maximum of $100,000. VOTE NOW and enter for a chance to win some cash! JUMP!
Via: Police received a call that an "inflatable Patriots guy" was stolen from a Derby Street lawn. The caller said an unknown person took a three-foot inflatable player valued at $75 from the front of the home. Police said there were no suspects. This is why we always warn people to put their address on the shin of inflatable Patriots guys. You think a thief will put that in his front yard? No way. Gonna drive right by your house. Lesson learned.
The NFL logo image is from last year's Super Bowl, but it paints a very clear picture as to what not to do with your display. The 'F' is a mess. That is why Goodell doesn't want you using his logo. Screw up the 'F' & your display looks terrible. Clean it up, Krogers. Do you like multiple orgasms with your tennis rally? Check out the Aussie Open womens' final. Also, the Pacers have paid for a new H.S. backboard after their mascot destroyed the old one. Let's get rolling!
What, you didn't expect a random tweet this afternoon from Hunter Pence about Pat Sajak's sense of humor? Same here. Maybe this all has something to do with Sajak telling a media outlet that he's been hammered while hosting Wheel of Fortune multiple times. Or not. All Pence would add to his comment is to watch the interview. What interview? No idea, but the real news here is that this reinforces our desire to get drunk one of these days with Sajak. (@HunterPence3)
Did you buy a house in 2006 at the top of the housing bubble? You still living in that house? You paying on a house that's $3mm underwater? Would you blame Santana Moss if he quit paying on his house near Ft. Lauderdale? Not us. Dude has to be careful with his cash. Losing that house doesn't mean much. But, it's another thing that the IRS wants money Moss seems to owe them. A double whammy for a dude who got a $5mm signing bonus last summer. JUMP!
Yep, the turdballs from God Hates Fags / Westboro church, kept their word and protested this afternoon outside the Joe Paterno memorial that is starting right now. Says Margie Phelps: Gettin' it done!
#JoePaInHell Many, MANY guilty parties on the ground today,responsible for #PennRape mess. #Mourn4Sin. And added: Is @ESPN_Colin one of the lying media who covers for raping coaches? Sports broadcasters get rich while they cover great sin. React accordingly.
We didn't really expect to hear this week that Wes Welker would get engaged to his Hooters bikini girlfriend Anna Burns this week. The Boston Herald says Welker popped the question, one thing led to another and Ms. Burns will soon marry into the NFL money motherlode. It's believed that the two might have been engaged around Christmas but were able to keep it quiet. Timing doesn't matter. Cat is out of the bag. So you want to see more of Burns, right? JUMP!
And here you wife/girlfriend thought this would be a weekend without football. Guys, we have the Lingerie Football League playoffs this Saturday from Citizens Bank Business Arena in Ontario, California. The winners move on to Las Vegas for the Lingerie Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday. Philly has the LFL's best offense (4 gms: 206 pts) while only giving up 30, making them the odds-on favorite to redeem themselves after last year's Lingerie Bowl loss. JUMP!
Yes, we continue to be intrigued by soft drink/beer displays. Why? Because this will be the next great competition on the Food Network. Contestants will be given 2 hours to build kick ass beer displays. It's coming. Baby Jesus won't be playing at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Instead, you'll get a Tony Romo-Tiger Woods pairing. And how about this lede from the Free Press: Miguel Cabrera said he was moving back to third base to make room for Prince Fielder. Let's get rolling!
Look closely. Those are tiny needles in Jerry Glanville's arm today at Senior Bowl practice in Mobile. What is the former NFL coach doing watching potential NFL draft picks? He works for the United Football League and needs to be ready to pick up the scraps in late April. Why is he having needles stuck into his arm at a football stadium? Because he knows it'll get him exposure? Missed his treatment this morning? JUMP!
NFL cheerleaders make somewhere between $50-$75 per game. No pay for practice. So, as you can imagine, a paid trip to Hawaii for the 2012 Pro Bowl is a decent reward for a cheerleaders hard work. What's a week in Hawaii cost these days? $6,000? Airfare alone from Baltimore runs around $1,000. And just think, these ladies get to jersey chase this week with the possibility of landing an NFL meal ticket. Total score for these chicks. JUMP!
And here we were all set for the Westboro Church, God Hates Fags, crew to unveil their signs at Joe Paterno's funeral today. The Internet will have to wait, according to Fred Phelps Jr. "Everybody waiting for WBC. Think Thursday. Think public memorial service." Hmm, strange choice, but it seems the GHFers are going for the bigger audience over Paterno's actual funeral. Big question at our office is if they'll have a special, limited edition Jerry Sandusky sign. Stay tuned.