Remember last week when BC showed you the numbers proving that Kristin Cavallari banging Cutler - AGAIN - was saving the Bears season? Yeah, well, he's out 6-8 weeks with a broken throwing thumb. Yeah, he needs surgery. OOOPS. Sorry, Bears fan. Kinda jinxed you there didn't we. But there is good news for Cuts-Cavs fans out there. Jay popped the question - AGAIN. Yes, these lovebirds are back on for that dumb wedding plan. JUMP!
ESPN is asking for it by promoting the s#$% out of the #WhenSkipMeetsTebow hashtag that is trending worldwide on Twitter this morning. It's expected that Tim Tebow will lose his virginity tomorrow at 11 ET when Skip Bayless finally gets to meet his gay lover in what should be a giant slurp-fest on First Take. Skip haters have called off work. Tebow supporters are staying quiet. You want vulgar, NSFW Tebow-Skip Bayless tweets? We have you covered this morning. JUMP!
Why is Eli Manning giving us his "Peyton stole my 1989 Griffey Jr. Upper Deck rookie card," face this morning? Well, his Giants had a chance last night to seize control of the NFC East, yet couldn't beat Vince Young. Bad loss, brah. And on the right we have Erin Andrews after a Baylor Bukkake® post-Bears miraculous victory over Oklahoma. The tale of two faces. One giving thanks. One completely lost in his world of childhood memories. Get your ass rolling! Let's go!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: The (4-5) Chargers are visiting the (6-3) Bears at Soldier Field. This game promises to produce many "Cutlerface's". If the Chargers are stupid enough to kick to Devin Hester, expect him to go HAM. Jim Nantz is calling the game so expect to fall asleep by half time. To say Phillip Rivers has been struggling has been an understatement. It's freezing in Chicago so expect to see numerous humorous images. Jump!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: The (4-5) Tampa Bay Buccaneers are visiting the (9-0) Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field. The Packers are undefeated and look to be Super Bowl contenders this year. Aaron Rodgers has made packers fans say "Brett who?". The 2010 Super Bowl champions look to have no problems with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers that rank 31st in total defense in NFL. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Virginia traveled to Tallahassee to take on the Florida State Seminoles. FSU started 2011 as the #5 team in the nation but have failed to live up to expectations. Virginia is doing surprisingly well and the coach inspired his team by almost losing his life after being shot by a robber. FSU should win this game handily if they aren't looking forward to next week's game against Florida. JUMP!
Via Weekend Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Penn State is visiting Ohio State in the Horseshoe today at 3:30 EST. Penn State is looking to avenge their loss to Nebraska last week and also try and take their minds off the horrendous Sandusky scandal. This game has been poorly dubbed the "Tats versus Tots" game by some sports writers. I will be disappointed if I don't see an Ohio State fan holding a sign that says "Hide yo kids. Hide Yo Wife". JUMP!
It's the first time ESPN GameDay has ever visited the University of Houston campus and you're only getting this visit because of your prolific QB Case Keenum (stats). What you need to know: Keenum is now the FBS all-time total offense leader. He has an amazing 37 TD to 3 INT ratio this season and threw 9 TDs in one game against lowly Rice. In other words, expect lots of Keenum > Luck signs and even that 'shocker' that has made it to the front of the crowd. JUMP!
Wow, what a game last night in Ames, Iowa where ESPN documented Iowa State's first victory - EVER - over a #2 ranked team. You know what we hate this morning? We hate Alabama fan's reaction in this Tuscaloosa bar. You assholes had your chance a couple weeks ago and couldn't score a TD at home against LSU. You also couldn't make a FG. But, you'll eventually get your BCS shot because the rest of college football can't get its shit together. Anyway, let's get rolling.
Via BC Afternoon Editor Monty: Who knew Kristin Cavallari had any redeeming qualities? Not us. But hell, we're men, so we can admit when we made a mistake. As it turns out, KCav does have some redeeming qualities that aren't her ass. She went to the Marine Corps Ball last night with Lance Cpl. Jonathan Burkett. That kicks ass. Her man, Jay Cutler, even took the time to give a shout out to Burkett and if that dick can do it, so can we. Your 15 minutes start now, but we'll salute you for every one of them. Here's to Burkett, KCav and our armed forces. Semper Fi, bitches!
Sarah Palin has said she would have no problem bringing the rope to a hanging of Jerry Sandusky (even though he's still innocent). Now we have Howard Stern bringing a voice of reason to this case. "They should cut his b**** off, I mean, what are you going to do with a guy like that? This is the real stuff that sickens me and should sicken all Americans." Meanwhile, this morning someone either punched or kicked in a window at Sandusky's house. OCCUPY SANDUSKY!
In the old days of NASCAR you could tell who won on Sunday by what cars were selling on Monday. It's 2011 and we know how Tim Tebow won last night. You hear that cash register in Denver, Tampa, Colorado Springs, New York City? Yeah, that would be Baby Jesus jerseys flying off the rack. We also know that Tebow's street cred is skyrocketing by the number of black guys who've been converted. Folks, this phenomenon is just beginning. The Lord is 4-1. JUMP!
Ian O'Connor writes this morning for ESPN.com: This is the same quarterback neither Elway nor the head coach, John Fox, seemed to want around. This is the same quarterback Fox said would be "screwed" if he had to run a conventional offense. How exactly does Tim Tebow go about his night after a 95-yard game-winning drive against the formidable Jets? Does he just go home & read the Bible? Does he call a few chicks over for lemonade? Yes, we're intrigued.
Via Busted Coverage's Screencapper ParadigmShift35: Of course the crazy Virginia Tech rednecks were out in full force tonight in Blacksburg. Is there anything else to do on a Thursday night in the hills of Va? Not unless sitting at home and watching Pawn Stars DVRs sounds like a blast. Anyway, there were freezing conditions, some dude with his lunch pail and Jenn Brown up to her normal sideline duties. Catch that ACC football fever. JUMP!
Via BC Afternoon Editor Monty: Now they're handing out porn in our schools. Well, not our schools -- the one in Westport, Connecticut. A football coach at Staples High School has been suspended, pending an investigation, for allegedly giving several freshmen players his username and password to a porn site. So many feelings. So many questions. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of answers. Here's what we do know, though. Check it!
Our friend Darren Rovell (he actually follows us so f-off) this afternoon had this to say about an NCAA '12 screencap that crossed his desk: Horribly unfortunate caption in NCAA '12 for Penn State-OSU game. Oh, come one now, it's just a computer pumping out the headlines. Or is it? Sandusky? Is that you, you queer child molester? You conspiring with Spanier and Schultz to disgrace NCAA '12 with this disgusting prose? It just won't end. Those poor kids! (@darrenrovell)