What did we learn last night in the NHL? Don Cherry always has one more ridiculous suit jacket after the one you thought was the most ridiculous. Oh, and that the Boston Bruins couldn't get out of the first round of the playoffs. Tough break, Boston fan. Moving on, it's NFL Draft Day! You're able to watch the draft live on NFL.com so don't bother with Chris Berman & his blowhard cohorts. Big prediction: The Patriots will trade out of the first round. Let's get rolling!
What kind of guy goes out and buys a $25,000 Ford Excursion that's wrapped with the most obscene University of Texas advertising material you'll ever see? Of course every school has those jerkoffs who have to roll into town in some ridiculous truck with those stupid window flags flapping from all four windows. Would it be possible to only fly two UT flags? Nope, gotta have four. Want to be the biggest jerkoff on your Texas block? This is your new ride. JUMP!
Of course this will now become the biggest bro look in Vegas history. You'll have 40 of these guys at the World Series of Poker. Guarantee you'll see two or three assholes wearing these at the Excalibur 6-5 BJ tables. Our Las Vegas correspondent, @ThirsTSmith, sent a couple photos to us this afternoon of Andrew Luck Jersey Guy throwing the bones at the Bill's craps table. Too early? Not for idiots from the Midwest. JUMP!
Enter the dream scenario world we live in at times. Saints make their 7th round pick and send a giant f-you to King Roger Goodell by filling out the stupid little card with the name Kate Upton, QB. Look, let's all agree that the 4th QB on any roster is the biggest waste of flesh in sports. A team would sign Trent Dilfer to a deal and throw his old ass out to the wolves before they'd put in the 4th QB. Just think of the Kate Upton QB marketing scenario. Endless. JUMP!
Donovan McNabb played in only six games for the Minnesota Vikings but gets invited to all the cool parties this offseason. Here he is with Purple Jesus back in March in the Bahamas for a Vikings teammate's wedding. Crushed that? -350 on the crush line. In MLB news, 80 fans tried to throw harder than Jamie Moyer to get free tickets to a Fort Myers Miracle game. All they had to do was throw a 78 mph pitch. BOOM, free tickets. Nope, nobody could. Let's get rolling!
Legend has it that Harry's Banana Farm in Lake Worth, Florida got its name after a kid's ball club wouldn't take money from a bar. So Harry's Open Door was changed to it's current incarnation. Once named one of America's sleaziest bars by Penthouse, as of a few years ago customers were able to get a 60-ounce draft for $6. The place opens for boozers at 7 a.m. and serves your normal bar food. Harry's is also known for its catchy billboards. JUMP!
What the f*ck is going on with the sports world? Are we running out of filler for the 24-hour news cycle? Dropping espionage and _____-gate makes us feel like a Walter Cronkite hologram will show up after a commercial & kick Neil Everett's ass. Jesus! Can't we get a fake Steve Phillips press conference about Albert Pujols being homerless? In NHL news, the Rangers force a Game 7 while Gary Bettman battles the shits over the Blackhawks being eliminated. Let's get rolling!
Nope, Deion's kids aren't doing their homework. They're filling out police reports for a domestic violence incident that took place earlier today between Prime Time and his soon-to-be ex-wife Pilar. Blah, blah, blah. Yes, we take domestic violence seriously, but can't we at least use this post to ask you guys who makes those sweet chairs? Is it too much to ask? Cup holders built into the chair? Gotta be kidding me. Those are sweet. JUMP!
A couple years ago we had a post on 8 cheerleading tryout disasters that should never be repeated. The bad part is that women didn't listen to our advice and now BC is up to 15 cheerleading tryout disasters. It's your money, ladies. Don't blame us when you drop $100 on a tryout and waste a Saturday afternoon only to be rejected because you're giant ass can't move or you're pregnant. Nothing is more challenging at a tryout than a fetus in your belly. Just sayin'. JUMP!
Ho-hum. Dammit, how cool would it be to go back to your 22-24-year-old days and live life like Gronk and Team Jizz Blaster? From one city to the next. Tampa to Aruba, to Spring Break, to Boston, to the Playboy Mansion, back to Boston and then to Miami. That's in like 5 1/2 weeks. Seriously, if ESPN was to ever get in the 'reality' business, the time is now. Team Jizz Blaster on ESPN2 just going from city to city making bachelorette parties that much better. JUMP!
DJ Steve Porter has made some great mixes for ESPN (like the Randy Moss' "One Clap" video) and this one is no different. DJ Steve Porter just came out with one for the 2012 NFL Draft and it did not disappoint. The draft this year starts this Thursday and it looks like the first pick is already locked up with the Indianapolis Colts picking Andrew Luck to replace Peyton Manning. JUMP!
The Mississippi State Bulldogs will only play on 60 yards of field for their 2012 spring game because they decided it was more important to build a stage for a band to perform on. MSU decided to give up 40 yards of field space for a country music band named Sugarland to play on. Dan Mullen doesn't have much to work with to display his team's ability for his spring game. Grind for your state MSU! HT @stricklinMSU JUMP!
Manning Way is a street in Oxford, Mississippi that was named after the Ole Miss Rebel quarterback Archie Manning. The speed limit used to be 18 mph in honor of Archie's number. Well now that there is a new Manning and former rebel and current New York Giants quarterback winning Superbowls, the speed limit has been changed to Eli Manning's number 10. I doubt Ole Miss fans will feel too bad about going 8 mph slower than usual. HT CFBSection JUMP!
Via: Nebraska Husker football player Alfonzo Dennard was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a Lincoln police officer early Saturday. Lincoln police said Dennard, 22, was fighting with another man outside a bar near 14th and O Streets about 2:15 a.m. When officers attempted to intervene, Dennard allegedly pushed and then punched one officer in the face. Homeboy was ranked by CBS as the 56th best player in the NFL draft. Ooops.
Relax, it's not Jack Nicklaus. Just an old codger hanging with the Gunslinger this morning before a golf tournament. It seems Favre is legitimately keeping busy during retirement. There was the gig as team mom for the So. Miss baseball team and now Friday golf outings. Just think of how little this guy spends per week. Golf in Mississippi costs as much as a vodka-tonic in NYC. $22 max for dinner at the Italian joint in town. Dammit, this guy has the life. (via @jholifield1402)
Little late on this one only because most people don't really care about Greg Schiano or the house he's trying to sell in New Jersey since he'll be spending the next 3-5 years in Tampa. Is there a more uninteresting NFL hire like Schiano in the last 5 years besides Dick Jauron in Buffalo? Ok, Romeo Crennel needs to be in the same breath. Anyway, Schiano is selling his N.J. dump but let's all focus on Greg's couch collection. JUMP!