Gators Fan’s Robbery Getaway Vehicle (Wheelchair) Gets Stuck In Sand! [Cuff 'Em]
YES, YES, YES, YES, this happened in Gainesville, Florida. Yes, someone in Ohio will trump this idiot by Friday morning. Yes, his wheelchair got stuck in the sand after he stole a 12-pack and electrical tape. Yes, he was wearing a Florida Gators hat and Gators sweatshirt. We’re still waiting for the surveillance video to be released because this story might be one of our all-time favorite Cuff ‘Ems. JUMP!
Creighton Bball Coach Carrie Moore Passes Out In McDonald’s Drive-Thru [Cuff 'Em]
Via: An assistant coach for the Creighton University women’s basketball team was arrested early Sunday on suspicion of driving while intoxicated. Carrie Moore, 26, of Bellevue, was arrested after employees at a McDonald’s restaurant found her passed out in her car at the drive-through, Bellevue police Officer Sean Vest said. Moore told police that she had been at the Creighton men’s game late Saturday and had a few drinks afterward. Punishment: 35 suicides.
WAG Lena Gercke Handbra Photo Lands Tunisian Newspaper Editors In Jail! [Cuff 'Em]
You might remember this photo of Lena Gercke that we ran last week and was published in the March issue of GQ Germany. That’s Lena’s futbol playing boyfriend Sami Khedira helping with the handbra. No biggie, right? Well, in Tunisia a newspaper ran this photo and now three employees have been arrested and nutjobs are threatening to burn down the newspaper’s building. Not kidding. JUMP!
Florida Woman Arrested For Throwing Iced Tea On Father During Super Bowl [Cuff 'Em]
Via: A 50-year-old woman accused of dousing her dad with iced tea on Super Bowl Sunday was arrested, even though she said the chilled beverage soaking was an act of “self defense,” a recently released report states. The apparent tossed tea tumult began brewing Feb. 5 as a 79-year-old man told Port St. Lucie police he argued with his daughter, Jacqueline Collins, the Port St. Lucie police report states. Florida, our love affair continues. Don’t stop being weird. Kisses.
Ohio State Fan Making Withdrawal Up In This C-Bus Key Bank! [Cuff 'Em]
Via: Police tell NBC4 a man entered the bank and stood in line waiting for a teller. Upon approaching the counter, he handed the teller a note saying he would hurt her if she did not give him the money. No weapon was observed and the teller complied with his request and handed the man the cash from her drawer, according to police. Totally smart move wearing your OSU jacket during a bank robbery. That won’t give you away or anything to the family in Gahanna.
Hardo Alabama Fan Popping Off Rounds In Circle K Beer Robbery [Cuff 'Em]
Rarely do we come across a Circle K robbery in Phoenix where the suspect is a teen, has a ridiculous earring, has chin studs, a Three Stooges haircut and is wearing an Alabama hat. Whew. About as hardcore as they come these days. This pussy decided to go on a beer run way back in October and police are STILL looking for him, according to CBS5 in Phoenix. How this is just now crossing our desk is an embarrassment to local TV. JUMP!
YES Network’s Bob Lorenz Got Hammered & Landed DUI This Week [Cuff 'Em]
Bob Lorenz has been around the world of sports for what seems like 25 years or so, bouncing between CNNSI, TNT & TBS. Now he’s at the YES Network living the good life. Things must be great because he’s on the hook for a DUI relating to an early Wednesday morning incident with Connecticut police. How (allegedly) hammered was our boy, Lorenz? Passed the f*ck out at a stop light. Gone. Hammered. Nappy time. JUMP!
Woman Wearing Yankees Coat & Hat Harrassed By Bro-kowski’s [Cuff 'Em]
Via: Two men from out of state were arrested late Super Bowl Sunday after they yelled at a woman and chased her around her car because she was wearing a New York Yankees coat and hat, according to a city police report. Lynn Jordan, 25, of Texas, and Andrew Bonner, 23, of Vermont, were arrested on breach of peace charges. Bigger crime here: dropping f-bombs on this woman or this woman wearing a Yankees hat & coat on Super Bowl Sunday? Make the call.
Colorado Lineman Will Pericak Gets Hammered, Lights Fire At Bar [Cuff 'Em]
Via: According to the report, at around 1 a.m. Sunday, a bartender at the Pearl Street Pub and Cellar at 1108 Pearl St. said Pericak lit the contents of a metal bucket on fire. Bartenders said the bucket contained trash and miscellaneous papers and were able to put it out with no damage to the bar. Pericak later told police, “Listen, I had some beers and caused some trouble, but I haven’t done anything illegal… I left the bar.” Totally innocent. Dick cops causing problems. Drop it, boys.
Police Searching For Georgia Fan Who Showed Woman His Dong [Cuff 'Em]
Via: According to police spokesman Bruce Frazier, the man exposed himself to a female shopper at the Wal-Mart store on Shugart Road in the northwest Georgia town on Thursday. “The female shopper was in the area of the shoe department when the suspect got her attention and exposed himself to her,” Frazier said. If the Internet can figure out who the Bama Teabagger was, this one shouldn’t take much effort. Spread the word. Have a tip in this case? mail@bustedcoverage.com
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