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September 7th, 2011

Florida Cheerleader Coach Be ‘Incinerating’ Fight, Fuzz Alleges [VIDEO]

You know how Doc Gooden and Gary Sheffield were related to half of Tampa? Like every time a rookie came up to the majors, announcers would be like, “Here’s Nook Logan making his Major League debut. Little known fact, he’s Gary Sheffield’s cousin.” Yeah, pretty much everyone in Florida is related to each other. Anyway, good luck trying to follow along with this Florida youth football cheerleading brawl story. JUMP!

September 6th, 2011

Sad: Ginger Gets Popped For Rushing Field At UTSA D1 Opener [Cuff 'Em]

It was the game that our old friend Peter Burns (@PeterBurnsRadio) had been pimping all summer. The game was the University of Texas at San Antonio vs. Northeastern State. Not exactly a game that was on our radar, but the locals went bananas for the UTSA first-ever football game. 56,743 showed up at the Alamodome thanks to cheap tickets. The student body was crazy. So crazy that many rushed the field. Here comes the fuzz! Down goes Ginger!

September 2nd, 2011

Wisconsin-UNLV Arrest Numbers Down; 18 Students Popped [Cuff 'Em]

Via Wisconsin State-Journal: UW-Madison Police reported that they ejected 39 people from Thursday night’s football game against UNLV at Camp Randall Stadium and arrested 18 of those people, all of them UW students. Step it up, people. Only so many home games for your senior year. Only so many tailgates. So many 40-man beer bongs. So many chances to fight another drunk. 30 were arrested during last year’s OSU game.

August 31st, 2011

Your Move, Alabama: Buckeye Has Sex With Pool Raft [Cuff 'Em]

At this time last year, BC had a sick fascination with the weirdos who were smoking bath salts. Most of the bath salt smokers were from Pennsylvania and West Virginia. It was a helluva run, but things have settled down with the salt tweakers. That’s why we’ve moved on to an Alabama-Ohio State Cuff ‘Em Challenge! Bama has been out to an early lead with some Rammer Jammer meth heads, but Ohio came back with the breast milk machine gunner. Now pool raft guy.

August 26th, 2011

Black Guy Robs Virginia Bank While Wearing Canucks Hat [Cuff 'Em]

This should be one of the easiest cases in police detective history. Since beginning this Baseball Cap Bank Robbers series there has yet to be a black dude wearing a hockey team hat while robbing a bank. And as if that isn’t strange enough, a black dude robbing a Virginia bank while wearing a Vancouver Canucks hat, to boot. True, you can’t really see the logo, but the media is sure that says Canucks. JUMP!

August 25th, 2011

World’s Worst Beer Thief Finally Arrested [Cuff 'Em]

Florida fuzz have finally busted the case of the World’s Worst Beer Thief wide open thanks to some old fashioned tactics. Which were? Not sure. Anyway, this beer thievery went down back in April and the sheriff’s department had been investigating ever since. Complete waste of tax dollars? Probably, but this is Florida where commonsense is thrown out the window. Here is the 27-year-old moron – Juan Luis. JUMP!

August 24th, 2011

Florida Bro Goes On Extreme $820 Shoplifting Spree [Cuff 'Em]

Meet Michael Wibby, a Florida resident who went on an extreme shoplifting spree at a Winn-Dixie this week. According to cops, Wibby just wheeled the goods out the store and into a waiting Nissan. He threw the meat, beer, champagne and toilet paper into the trunk and took off. Eventually the fuzz caught up to homeboy and popped the trunk. Dude was going to throw one helluva party. Without coupons, the theft was calculated to be $820.20. A felony! Receipt after the JUMP!

August 23rd, 2011

Florida Punk Selling Fake Babe Ruth Balls To Pawn Shops [Cuff 'Em]

Florida authorities, as if they aren’t busy enough with retards having naked cocktail hours, have themselves a 40-year-old pawn shop fraudster. The ruse was to sell fake Babe Ruth autographed baseballs and include a fake authentication piece of paper with each sale. Marc A. Szakaly was popped last week for this ripoff campaign and cops say this scheme was fairly elaborate. This garbage wouldn’t have gone down if the shop owner called Rick Harrison at Pawn Stars – JUMP!

August 19th, 2011

This Gym Teacher Jacking It Outside Ruby Tuesdays? [Cuff 'Em]

Got ourselves a nice Cuff ‘Em this morning that revolves around a N.C. gym teacher, a Ruby Tuesday’s & a 35-year-old witness who says he saw Michael Lennell Wallace jacking it. Before we go any further, let’s digest that middle name. Lennell? WTF is that all about? Total guess: Lennell used to get his ass kicked, decided to go out for the football team, got his ass kicked there and eventually became a gym teacher. Ladies, word is that this guy is hung like a jalapeno popper. JUMP!

August 18th, 2011

Tear Drop Popped Again For Issuing A Bad Check [Cuff 'Em]

At what point in life does a person decide it’s the perfect time to get a “F@ck Cops” tattoo? After getting a speeding ticket on the way home with your first born? Meet Greg Alan Burden. He’s been giving the Phoenix fuzz some issues with bad checks this summer. He’s currently in 4th place on the Maricopa Mugshots Of The Day leaderboard, after his second bad checks bust. So many questions about this guy. Might be time for a 5 Questions.