Great work this morning, ugly Americans. Hope you got all those 'deals' that are so dear to your heart. Meanwhile, we'll be shopping from bed where there aren't people spraying us with pepper spray. What else is new this morning? In Michigan, this guy is working extra hours trying to clear clogged up shitters. No matter how ugly the economy gets, this country will continue to over indulge whether it's with LCDs or turkey breast. Love it. Let's get rolling!
Via WPVI: The Haverford Township Police Department is searching for a bank robber who struck Wednesday afternoon. Police say at 3:44 p.m., the suspect entered the Alliance Bank at 500 Township Line Road in Havertown and handed the teller a note demanding currency. The suspect implied that he was armed with a handgun, but none was displayed. Homeboy left, hit a Wegmans and picked up some meal supplies w/side of MD 20/20. Bust him: email@example.com
Via Hays Free Press: The man stole an undisclosed amount of money from the Austin Telco Federal Credit Union off Cabela’s Drive near Walmart. Witnesses described him as a Hispanic man in his mid-20s or early 30s. He was wearing a white Texas Longhorns baseball cap, gray hoodie, dark sunglasses and white bandana over his face. Focus, BC Nation. Hispanic, UT fan, nowhere Texas. It's a 4-day weekend. Let's get him! firstname.lastname@example.org
Via NBC2 in Buffalo: Investigators say the M&T Bank on Tonawanda Street was robbed just before 3pm. They say a white male entered the bank, handed the teller a note demanding money. The then left the bank with an undisclosed amount of cash. The suspect is described as a white male, about 5'6-5'10, 170lbs, 25-30 years old, and has a beard. He was wearing a white mesh Sabres baseball cap. Get us a bank robber for Thanksgiving. email@example.com
Via the Press-Register: Joseph Michael Dozier, 26, of Grand Bay and Dean S. Balazs, 24, of Mobile were arrested Nov. 11 and each charged with one count of third-degree receiving stolen property, said a Washington County Jail spokesman. Chatom Police Chief Brent Callihan said that two men took the Crimson Tide flag and a flagpole from the yard of a residence. Lesson here to scrap thieves: leave the stupid flag and take the pole. ROLL TIDE ROLL!
Via Knoxville Sentinel: The suspect verbally demanded cash from a bank employee, she said. He obtained an unspecified amount of money and fled in a white, late model vehicle — possibly a Hyundai Tucson — with a small University of Tennessee power "T" sticker in the rear window. Shouldn't be too hard to bust this one open. Tubby has a circle of friends that'll start talking. One of you want to split the FBI money? We'll turn him in: firstname.lastname@example.org
Houston police are still looking for Bulls Pinstripe Hat Guy after this October gas station robbery. The first suspect remains at large. He is described as a black male, 18-25 years old, approximately 5'9" to 5'10", 160 to 180 pounds. At the time of the offense he was wearing a red and black ball cap, a red sweatshirt, a red bandana covering his face and dark pants. Know homeboy, but you're afraid of ratting on him? We're not: email@example.com
Via SignOnSanDiego: The man, believed to be about 60, walked into the U.S. Bank on Balboa Avenue near Genesee Avenue about 9:30 a.m. and walked up to a teller. He lifted his shirt to show a pistol tucked into his waistband, put one hand on the gun and demanded money, the FBI said. The teller handed the robber some cash and he left. Witnesses saw him get into a gray, late-model Mercury. Is this your grandpa? We'll turn him in: firstname.lastname@example.org
Via News10 Sacramento: Roseville police and the FBI investigate a robbery at River City Bank that happened on Monday around 11:52 p.m.The robber is described as a black male about 5'8" to 6' tall and heavyset. He was last seen wearing red cap under a black hooded sweatshirt, a black letterman's style jacket with white trim, dark pants and black and white athletic shoes. FINALLY! A Nats fan robbing a bank. A BC first. Crack the case: email@example.com
Via KOLD (Tucson): The suspect was least seen wearing a gray-hoolded "Arizona" sweatshirt, a green baseball hat with "Dolphins" on the front, black basketball shorts and white shoe. He also was wearing latex gloves, police said. Just a guess: Bro lost his job shilling weight loss pills during the economic downturn. He lost his 3,200 sq. ft., built in a week, desert pad. Bank foreclosed. Afraid to turn in Dolphins Trendy Bro? We will! Send word - firstname.lastname@example.org
Via The Smoking Gun: [Joshua Basso] was arrested yesterday after allegedly placing a series of obscene 911 calls during which he asked a female operator about her breasts and whether she would have sex with him. When confronted by cops, Basso would not say whether he was masturbating while talking to the operator, as he claimed during the calls. Why was Basso calling 911 for phone sex? His cellphone was out of minutes & would only dial 911. Florida or Ohio: Answer!
We want his name, Facebook account, address or whatever it takes to help police make a visit to his residence and ask him about the stomping of the WTAJ news truck last night. If Busted is ever going to send a criminal to jail with this Cuff 'Em series, Penn State guy deserves to be the first. Do your thing, BC Nation. Stand up to morons who protest the firing of a pedo-enabler. Hit us up: email@example.com
Via the Norwich Bulletin: Police said a white man believed to be in his 20s entered the bank, waited for a teller station to become available and handed the teller a note demanding money. He indicated he had a firearm concealed in his clothing and insisted that no “bait” money, which could contain an exploding dye pack, be included in the cash she handed over to him. CONCENTRATE. Do you have friend in Norwich w/blue NY hat? firstname.lastname@example.org
News started to leak yesterday about the DUI case surrounding San Antonio Spurs GM R.C. Buford. Today we get a look at the police report and it's not good for homeboy. R.C. had all sorts of issues Friday night on his way home from a fundraiser where it's suspected that the bored GM just destroyed the open bar. How else is it possible to turn in that classic mugshot? Just look at that left eye slicing through your skull. Don't sulk, bro. Your DUI file is awesome. JUMP!
Via NBC4: Authorities said they believe a man who may be missing a finger or two is responsible for robbing a bank inside a Giant Eagle last month. According to the FBI, the US Bank inside the grocery store in Gahanna was robbed on Oct. 12. Officials said surveillance images led them to believe that the suspect may be missing a finger or two on his right hand or that the hand may be deformed. Do work, BC Nation. We'll turn in Captain Hook. email@example.com
Via Asbury Park Press: At 10:15 a.m. Tuesday, the robber walked into the Zales Outlet jewelry store in the Jackson Premium Outlets after and told an employee that he was going to rob the store but “no one would get hurt’’ if they cooperated, police said. The suspect did not make any mention of having a weapon, police said. Swisher needing a little walking around money? And no weapon shown? These outlets are getting soft. Turn him in: firstname.lastname@example.org