Let's get the last full week your ass will be working this year into high gear with the game that's all the rage these days: Florida or Ohio. You know the rules. We give you a crazy arrest story from either Ohio or Florida, delete the details such as city, address, newspaper reporting the story, etc. You and the coworkers place wagers. Only one of these two kooky states can win. Today we have these sex den (allegedly) proprietors who ran a swingers club. Details - JUMP!
Via Cincinnati.com: Police say 68-year-old James Summers, Jr. robbed the Gateway College bookstore located at 510 Technology Way near Florence around 10 a.m. Thursday. Summers, who is a student at Gateway College, threatened an employee with a knife and stole an undetermined amount of cash. Police caught up with Summers at the Hollywood Casino in Lawrenceburg, Ind., around 1:30 a.m. Friday and arrested him. Bonus points...that Navy hat!
Texas teacher Julie Ann Moore is quite the playa, according to the Texas Rangers who are investigating her for sexually assaulting a 15-year-old boy. And where did this sex occur? Behind an apartment complex at halftime of a high school football game. That's right, during a week when we learn that a couple teachers were banging in a Ralph Wilson bathroom, this news breaks in Texas. WTF is up with sex and football. Women...always trying to distract our asses. JUMP!
Via NewsGnome: The Philadelphia Police Department and the FBI are seeking the public’s assistance to identify and locate the subject responsible for the robbery the PNC Bank branch located at 6855 Frankford Avenue earlier (Wednesday). At approximately 10:07 a.m., a subject entered the branch and presented a threatening demand note to a teller. After obtaining an undisclosed amount of cash. This is our chance. Bust his ass! Full pics - JUMP!
Via WHDH: Police are searching for a suspect who broke into a Newton home before taking off with the homeowner’s car. Police say the 38-year-old homeowner was on the third floor when the suspect broke into his Jackson Street home. When he heard a noise and went downstairs to investigate, he found the suspect in his bedroom. Just wondering: does the sketch artist ask if Red Sox bro wore his hat that high on his head? Turn in Sox fan: email@example.com
We saw this story floating around yesterday but didn't want to opine on Virginia Valdez until getting a peek at the mugshot. Now it's all a little clearer as to why she tried to cut off her husband's penis. She's angry. Look at that face. The eyes that barely open. Those glasses that scream 'Leave my ass alone. I don't care how many Viagra you pop, I'm not letting your penis anywhere near the vag.' JUMP!
Via WDRB Lexington: 23-year-old Jesse Buss was arrested Friday morning in Lexington and charged with Alcohol Intoxication. Lexington Police were called to the area of South Broadway and W. Maxwell Street around 3:39 Friday morning for a report of a man laying on the ground. Sources tell WDRB he was demanding preferential treatment and told officers he was the son of Jerry Buss. What was Jesse doing in Lexington? UNC-UK on Saturday? Scouting trip?
Via the Times Daily in Florence, AL: Balentine is accused of walking into the drug store at the intersection of Davis Street and Cloverdale Road at 12:58 p.m., pulling his shirt up over his mouth, shoving a hunting knife toward a clerk and demanding the medication. “Once he had the pills, he told the clerks to wait for five minutes before they called the police,” Florence police detective Justin Wright said. “When he left, he was eating some of the pills.” Roll Tide!
Via the Herald-Tribune: A man wearing a Tampa Bay Rays ball cap robbed the RBC Bank on Tamiami Trail on Wednesday. A few hours later the video was released to the media, and someone recognized the robber on the TV news, alerting deputies in Sarasota that the same man was also wanted on a bank robbery charge in Hillsborough County. Robert I. Hubbard, 33, of Tampa, was arrested Thursday. Bad day at the links? Gambling issues? JAIL TIME!
Another 1st here at Busted Coverage for the Baseball Cap Bank Robber series. Just look at the costume used yesterday at a Raleigh SunTrust bank inside a grocery store. Of course that's a breast cancer awareness baseball hat and chick sunglasses. This bro even had socks over his hands. Dude, we understand trying to avoid the fuzz, but a pink hat? Have some bank robbery morals. More amazing details - JUMP!
The Philly Inquirer reported yesterday: The FBI is searching for a bank robber who wore a Phillies cap as he held up the Society Hill branch of Wells Fargo this morning. The suspect is described as 5-foot-4, with a thin to medium build, and clean shaved. He wore a black jacket and a red Phillies ball cap. Gee, this should be an easy case to crack. Let's see, Phillies fan, 5-4, looks kinda white to maybe Latino. Yep, we expect this one to be solved in days.
Ahh, rivalry weekend in college football. A time when old friends can get together in Florida and turn in one helluva police report complete with a black-white tandem lighting up Florida fan and the black dude then - allegedly - curb stomping the Gators fan. Did we mention that the Gators fan was kinda looking for an ass whoopin'? But, in the end, it was Florida State fans going to jail with 3rd degree felony raps. JUMP!
Via South Carolina Patch: A 51-year-old man was arrested after deputies say he robbed four victims at gunpoint during the Carolina-Clemson game Saturday night. Hardwood Williams was charged with four counts of armed robbery. Richland County deputies say Williams pulled a handgun on the four victims around 9 p.m. on Andrews Road as they left the Carolina-Clemson game. Hardwood? Is that really his name, Patch? Might want to check on that.
Via STLToday.com: Authorities are looking for a man they believe robbed a US Bank here Monday afternoon. The man is described as a mid-30s white male standing about 6 feet tall wiht a slender build. He was wearing a dark baseball cap, a dark St. Louis Blues hooded sweatshirt and light blue jeans. BC is still 0-for-2011. With 35 days or so left to make things happen, get us St. Louis Blues fan and we'll both have Christmas money. firstname.lastname@example.org
Great work this morning, ugly Americans. Hope you got all those 'deals' that are so dear to your heart. Meanwhile, we'll be shopping from bed where there aren't people spraying us with pepper spray. What else is new this morning? In Michigan, this guy is working extra hours trying to clear clogged up shitters. No matter how ugly the economy gets, this country will continue to over indulge whether it's with LCDs or turkey breast. Love it. Let's get rolling!
Via WPVI: The Haverford Township Police Department is searching for a bank robber who struck Wednesday afternoon. Police say at 3:44 p.m., the suspect entered the Alliance Bank at 500 Township Line Road in Havertown and handed the teller a note demanding currency. The suspect implied that he was armed with a handgun, but none was displayed. Homeboy left, hit a Wegmans and picked up some meal supplies w/side of MD 20/20. Bust him: email@example.com
Via Hays Free Press: The man stole an undisclosed amount of money from the Austin Telco Federal Credit Union off Cabela’s Drive near Walmart. Witnesses described him as a Hispanic man in his mid-20s or early 30s. He was wearing a white Texas Longhorns baseball cap, gray hoodie, dark sunglasses and white bandana over his face. Focus, BC Nation. Hispanic, UT fan, nowhere Texas. It's a 4-day weekend. Let's get him! firstname.lastname@example.org
Via NBC2 in Buffalo: Investigators say the M&T Bank on Tonawanda Street was robbed just before 3pm. They say a white male entered the bank, handed the teller a note demanding money. The then left the bank with an undisclosed amount of cash. The suspect is described as a white male, about 5'6-5'10, 170lbs, 25-30 years old, and has a beard. He was wearing a white mesh Sabres baseball cap. Get us a bank robber for Thanksgiving. email@example.com
Via the Press-Register: Joseph Michael Dozier, 26, of Grand Bay and Dean S. Balazs, 24, of Mobile were arrested Nov. 11 and each charged with one count of third-degree receiving stolen property, said a Washington County Jail spokesman. Chatom Police Chief Brent Callihan said that two men took the Crimson Tide flag and a flagpole from the yard of a residence. Lesson here to scrap thieves: leave the stupid flag and take the pole. ROLL TIDE ROLL!