By now you've heard Josh Hamilton had one of the best hitting nights in MLB history, going 5-for-5 with 4 dongs, a double, 8 RBI and 18 total bases. Let us check the record books real quick....yeah helluva night. Anyway, of course Twitter exploded with coke, shots & beer jokes. Some bros even threw in a few hooker one-liners. We were especially smitten with snorting coke off hooker ass jokes. Fun! JUMP!
First of all, solid offensive performance by the 76ers last night against the Bulls in Game 5. 32% from the field, 70% from the line and 69 points. Evan Turner's line: 2-of-7, 4 TO & 4 points. It almost seemed like something was bothering him. Poor, poor night for Philly as a whole. The 76ers lose, the Flyers get knocked out of the NHL playoffs & the Phillies lose to the Mets, giving them last place in East. Let's get rolling!
So it seems Ozzie Guillen is finished being quiet about the Fidel Castro fiasco and will take out his anger on Houston sports radio hosts. Up first, Paul Gallant. This bro had the balls to ask Ozzie if the firestorm back in Miami had settled down. Pretty straightforward question and seemed innocent enough. A simple, "Yeah, you know, I think things are much better. Now we just need to start winning some baseball games," would suffice. Nope, Ozzie went nuts. JUMP!
A few weeks ago while doing research on the First Lady of Milwaukee baseball, we noticed that the infamous Front Row Amy was selling her seat to several Brewers games. She wouldn't be attending. Had other plans. Suddenly the idea popped into my head. What if we replaced Front Row Amy with a hot chick of our choosing? How would Milwaukee react to a Playboy model sitting in Amy's seat? Would there be a revolt? Let's find out on Wednesday against the Reds! JUMP!
Via: Police said that a man in his 20s to early 30s, approximately 6 feet tall with a mustache and goatee and wearing a Boston Red Sox hat and dark hooded sweatshirt – entered the lobby at approximately 1:47 p.m. and handed the teller a note demanding money. He then fled with an undetermined amount of cash in a 1995 lime green Plymouth Neon with a loud exhaust. The plates on the vehicle were identified as NH registration: 2010210.
For the sake of this post we'll pretend that is a Justin Bieber wannabe at last night's Braves-Cubs game. The stupid hat would normally be overlooked but then you go and bring the claw paws to the park just to get on TV. Deserve to be picked last for kickball. In NHL news, how about those NY Rangers? They tie the game with 6.6 seconds left in regulation and beat the Caps in OT. Of course it sent the tabloids into a frenzy. Rangers-Kings Stanley Cup sounds decent. Let's get rolling!
This is where we talk about Cole Hamels trying to lose the giant pussy street cred he's built up via multiple pussy photoshoots over the last few years. It's where Cole proves he's an old school, Bob Gibson style pitcher who doesn't like young punks like Bryce Harper walking into his sport and going balls to the walls. So of course Hamels thinks plunking Harper is the way to welcome him to the game. Guess who went on to steal home on Hamels? JUMP!
The poor, poor Yankees just can't get a break this year. Mariano Rivera, you might have heard, was carried off the field in Kansas City last night during batting practice after tearing his ACL while chasing down a meaningless fly ball. The big question is if this is a career ender. “I don’t want it any other way. I was doing what I love to do, shagging I love to do,’’ said Rivera. Wait, what the hell did he just say? Anyway, it's Kentucky Derby weekend. Let's get drunk!
Nothing gets white guys fired up like a blown call in a worthless baseball game in May. Sure, Tim Welke had a bad angle in the top of the 6th last night when he called Jerry Hairston out with Todd Helton about two feet off the bag. Looked horrible in real-time and looked even worse on replay. The Rockies eventually won and of course white guys went totally berserk on Twitter. Like ripping sh*t off the walls mad. One guy even used "heck" in his tweet. JUMP!
We learned a few things about Jered Weaver's dad during last night's no-hitter. According to the OC Register, Dave has an interesting tradition on Jered's pitching days. No dinner until after Jered comes off the mound. Guess that tradition doesn't include ice cold drafts. As you can see, he was still pounding the suds in the 9th as Jered worked over the Twins. In fact, Dave was even drinking a Bud Light can after the game. Our new hero? Of course. Let's get rolling!
It's all over. The long nightmare that was Nick Johnson's start to the 2012 season (0-for-29) came to an end last night against the Yankees. Our hero legged out a double, raising his average to .033. Johnson told reporters after the 7-1 O's win, "It kind of gets in your head and you think too much at the plate, instead of going up there getting a pitch and do what you do." We can now go back to ignoring this guy since the fun is over.
Big news for those of you who've been following Nick Johnson's hitless streak. He's DHing tonight in the Bronx and is already 0-for-2 with a K. As you can see, our hero is now 0-for-28 and pretty much looking at walking papers at this pace. The O's only have $800,000 wrapped up in this guy. What seems to be the issue? Johnson told YES Network's Jack Curry that he's "not letting the ball travel enough." Makes sense to us. Still time for two more ABs tonight.
REMEMBER THAT KATE UPTON VIDEO FROM THIS AFTERNOON WHERE SHE'S DOING THE CAT DADDY? YEAH, WELL NOW WE HAVE PHOTOS FROM THE TERRY RICHARDSON PHOTOSHOOT TO COMPLIMENT THAT INSANE VIDEO. ARE WE SHOUTING? OH, SORRY. Look, you guys keep clicking, we keep posting. Of course there is room for another hot chick to come in & steal a little of Upton's thunder. Until then, you get these – JUMP!
That didn't take long. Three days, that's all it took before some memoribilia dealer threw this autographed White House correspondents' dinner program on eBay for some idiot to drop $60 on. YES, it's autographed by Erin Andrews. This is the point where we try to figure out who's the bigger loser: the guy who stood there with a dinner menu waiting to get it autographed or the guy who buys this off eBay for $60? JUMP!
First of all, sorry about all the Blue Jays posts today. It just worked out that way. Don't think this is a trend. We know Canadian stories don't move the pageviews meter so plan on this being the last one for awhile. Anyway, Jose Bautista is such a little bitch. You know how we know? He goes on Twitter and posts this stupid tweet about his haters. Like this guy doesn't have anything else to do. Homeboy is hitting .181 & making $14M this year. Weak.
We tried to warn you guys months ago to start paying attention to Toronto Blue Jays' 3B Brett Lawrie's new girlfriend Paige Brendel. One thing leads to another and her Twitpics start including the likes of a bed photo with the Canadian heartthrob. Our interest in this Lawrie-Brendel relationship is like opening a book on how a WAG rises from nothing to something on the Internet. Let's be honest, Brendel is 4-5 bikini photos this summer from being an Internet star. JUMP!