Fathers, look at yourself in the mirror and figure out why your kids are tools to the point where they'll clone up like Brian Wilson and Tim Lincecum for a game in New York against the Mets (2-1 as I type). The little kid going with the Lincecum hair is cool because the former Cy Young is on the mound. And he's a kid. Doesn't know any better. It's cute. As for Brian Wilson beard, time to pack away the fake fur for at least 18 months. Stop being stupid, dorkwad.
Still holding Nick Johnson in your A.L. fantasy league? We have bad news for you fantasy dorks. According to ESPN's MLB projectors, the Orioles DH, who is off to a hot 0-for-23 start, will go an entire year without getting a hit. Of course it's crazy, but then again Johnson is well into April without slapping one through the infield. Who has the worst batting average in MLB history (minimum of one hit)? A pitcher. JUMP!
Does your beer league need a new dugout that looks like a shipping container with benches and a bat rack? Are you nostalgic towards baseball at Seattle's Kingdome? Specifically towards the opposing teams? We have a deal for you today. You can get on eBay right now and spend $7,500 for the entire visitor's dugout from the Kingdome. Seriously, all of it. Yep, you even get those mall benches. You're officially on your way towards building a MLB franchise. JUMP!
Poor Shannon Hogan. She was trying to get through another cold April afternoon while working the stands at another Tigers baseball game and then this happens. The Missouri grad does her best to give people perspective from the stands. But, drunken Rangers fan has to invade her space and treat this sideline reporter like her name is Jim Knox. Rock on, Rangers fan. Give us some tongue. NOW. MORE! TONGUE! JUMP!
So the NHL has to be freaking out over what's happening in the playoffs, right? The Sedin Sisters are out. Sids & Malks are history. The Rangers are on the brink with a 3-2 hole. Boston heads to a Game 7. Detroit is gone. Chicago trails 3-2. At this point, for the sake of business, we need the Flyers to win the Cup. In MLB news, at what point do the Red Sox fire Bobby V.? The team is 4-10 and only a rainout can stop the5-game losing streak. Let's get rolling!
We are all familiar with the insane and most of the time indecipherable Twitter feed of @JoseCanseco. Things got even more weird when Canseco took to Twitter to try and find some girls to date. The responses to Canseco's tweet are absolutely hilarious. It's mostly girls responding with "BLOCKED" or "You're Crazy". I highly suggest you follow this feed for the humor and the education of what steroids can do to a person. JUMP!
And the 99 Problems jerseys just keep rolling in. We asked for submissions a few weeks ago and look what was in the inbox this morning. Indy backwards hat 99 Problems d-bag. Fact: you should never rock this look in an Indianapolis sports bar unless you have a "Ain't 1" bitch rolling with you through Dave & Busters, or wherever Indy watches games. Just sayin'. In MLB news, you MUST look at the NY Post front page. MUST, DAMMIT! Let's get rolling!
For those of you who were stuck at home during today's ceremonies at Fenway, you missed an apparently drunken Pedro Martinez and Kevin Millar standing on the Red Sox dugout and leading an awkward toast with fans. Yes, Pedro and Cowboy Up had bottles of grape juice in their hands, but we assume they were pounding something strong earlier in the day. Nothing makes us smile quite like drunken Pedro. One of the best. JUMP!
We could really care less about Fenway celebrating its 100th anniversary today with a game against the New York Yankees. First pitch today – 3:15 p.m. The place most likely would've been blown up in the late 1990s if it wasn't for the Tom Henry crew saving the team and the old yard. What we care about is the Red Sox tradition of hot chicks, who really don't know anything about baseball, becoming fans & wearing the team's colors. JUMP!
The big news out of today's White Sox-Orioles game this afternoon came during the 7th inning when a young kid decided he'd listen to his elders and run onto the U.S. Cellular (or whatever they're calling it) Field. Of course he was apprehended by the left fielder and child right's advocates will soon debate whether his parents should be jailed and/or banned from life at Cellular. What kind of dirtbag sends his kid onto a MLB field to possibly be tased? JUMP!
Via: It happened at the Green Bank in the 5000 block of San Felipe at around 3pm Tuesday. Authorities say the man, who was captured by surveillance video, walked in and handed a note to the teller saying he had a gun and demanded money. The teller gave him some cash and the suspect fled on foot. The suspect is described as a black male in his 30s, approximately 5 feet 7 inches, and weighing 155 pounds. Should be quick case. Black guy wearing Astros cap.
Is there anything more embarrassing for a #RangersRack participant than wearing a C.J. Wilson shirt in her rack photos? Ask Sara (@RangersGirl36) who appeared on BC earlier this week in her Wilson shirt and was promptly ridiculed by fellow Rangers fans who have turned the page on the lefty. So embarrassed, Sara went out today and picked up a new shirt she wanted to show you guys. Approve or disapprove? Full photo - JUMP!
When fans show up to an Anaheim Angels game in mid-April for Albert Pujols Bobblehead Night they expect to take home a piece that'll become part of their memorabilia collection. These people take their Chinese-made, $25 eBay auction value item seriously because the game isn't nearly as important as the 'free stuff' they get upon entry. So imagine Angels fan's anger when he/she saw how bad Albert's beard looks on the bobblehead. Controversy! JUMP!
So 49-year-old Jaime Moyer got that elusive victory making him the oldest pitcher in MLB history to win a game, beating the Padres, 5-3. He regularly hit 79 with the fastball and 70-72 with the changeup. Yes, batting practice pitches. How long has Moyer been around Major League Baseball? His first salary in 1986 with the Chicago Cubs was $60,000. And Moyer "made his major-league debut when Ferris Bueller was in theaters," according to the Denver Post. Let's get rolling!
It was early 2011 when a sideline reporter named Kristina Akra first burst onto the Internet scene thanks to her work in the SEC and with the New England Patriots. Certain sites posted bikini photos and claimed Kristina had a background with the Miami Heat as a dancer. That wasn't true at all. The bikini and dancer background actually belonged to her sister, Katherine Akra. Now the two are both working in baseball. Yes, this is HUGE news to us. JUMP!
Close your eyes for a second. Conjure up the image of a 25-year-old white guy who still collects baseball cards. Add in some drama to this guy's life, like armed robbery at a Kmart. Yes, armed robbery of packs of baseball cards. He's from Wisconsin, so that should also be figured into this fictional character. Oh, and he still lives with his parents. Do you have an image? Does your character look anything like Joseph Marciniak? He should. JUMP!