A reader once complained to us that we did way too many Baseball Cap Bank Robber Cuff 'Em stories and this guy couldn't understand why BC cared about some guy robbing a bank in a baseball hat. Today is the payoff. Today we sit back in our chair and exhale because this right here is why we get up in the morning. Humanity. To find a guy who accented his giant fake beard with a Phillies cap. JUMP!
Shall we start the morning with a *slow clap* for the Target Field security chick taking down streaker bro by the finger tips? I think we shall. Just look at this effort. You won't see that from a Minneapolis cop working OT at like $60/hr. Someone get this chick a raise. In other MLB news, how about this Aaron Hill kid. He hits for cycle for the 2nd time in two weeks. This guy now has four cycles in his baseball career. Let's get rolling!
Just 10 days ago Jose Canseco went on the Worcester Tornadoes disabled list to "take some time to heal my injuries," according to the disgraced Bash Brother. That was June 18 at 11:34 p.m. - on Twitter. Ironically, at 8:02 p.m., some Worcester local ran into Canseco playing a softball game. You know, because nothing helps heal injuries like swinging a softball bat. JUMP!
The big news today in Boston? Clay Buchholz went to a party at Foxwoods last night after being recently released from Mass. General where he was battling esophagitis. What's the big issue? Buchholz is on the 15-day DL and the Sox are in Seattle. Boston media is obviously having a slow week because this is dominating sports talk & is now leaking over into the newspapers. JUMP!
How does ESPN2 fill programming in June after college baseball & softball are finished? Men's professional softball! It was Team USA vs. Team USA Futures and the youngsters won a thriller, 38-37, after Team USA had the tying run thrown out at home to end the game. Still efforting to find out if the dugouts had keg fountains. In other softball news, last night the Mets beat the Cubs, 17-1. Solid night from Jeff Samardzija. Only gave up 9 over 4 1/3. Let's get rolling!
Umpire Mike DiMuro has to be the biggest waste of MLB umpire flesh, right? By now you know what happened in last night's Yankees-Indians game. Yankees outfielder Dewayne Wise goes into the left field stands to catch a foul ball & clearly doesn't make the catch. Replay shows a fan in the vicinity bend over, pick up the ball and hold it up over his head. Does DiMuro ask Wise to show the ball? Nope. Of course Twitter erupted. JUMP!
The Giants & Dodgers wrap up a 3-game series at Pac Bell today at 3:45 EST and it'll also mark the end of the San Francisco police department's undercover program - until the next series. Cops have been dressing up as Dodgers fans, just waiting for morons to attack them for wearing Dodgers gear. Sounds like enticement to us. S.F. cops say that's not the case at all. JUMP!
Guarantee only a select few men have that Polo shirt in their closet. Oh, and when did Rob Ryan buy that Rangers hat? Yesterday at lunch? (via @DCStarJEllis). In other baseball news, here's another play that'll eventually move MLB to replay. Dewayne Wise was credited with catching this foul ball during last night's Yankees-Indians game. Watch how bad this call was. Not only did Wise not catch the ball, it isn't even clear that he walks away with the ball. Let's get rolling!
Derek Jeter turns 38 today & should be commended by all those athletes out there who have multiple divorces and children with multiple women. Jetes never fell for the bait. The guy never succummed to the altar & that means he can live a great life dating whomever he wants. Of course you guys thought he'd marry Minka Kelly. Nope, threw her right back to her B-list life. Don't feel bad for Minka, she joined a long list of throwbacks. JUMP!
Sure, Travis Wood and his batting helmet was the talk of Twitter on Monday night, but the pitcher got the last laugh with seven shutout innings and a W against the Mets. Reminder: When your team is 15.5 games out of 1st in the N.L. Central, & has the worst record in baseball, all it takes to become a Twitter story is a logo fail. In other baseball news, Arizona won the College World Series. Hell yes it was a slow Monday night. Time to ramp up NBA Draft news. Let's get rolling!
Ever see a minor league baseball game called off in the 8th inning when the ballpark's outfield fence was destroyed by a violent thunderstorm? Now you have. This is The Diamond in Richmond, Virginia. The home team, the Squirrels, were facing the New Britain Rock Cats when said thunderstorm rolled through the area and left a pummeled fence. Team officials estimate 4,500 fans were at the game. JUMP!
Porn star Jessica Lynn didn't come out and tweet, "I want to have sex with Dodgers pitcher Chris Capuano," but it was pretty close according to emailer Colby T. who sent us an urgent email last night. "What does having an all star level season get Chris Capuano? Porn stars, of course," Colby wrote. Wait, wait, wait just a minute. How the hell does a porn star randomly seemingly want to get banged by Capuano? This is nuts. JUMP!
Unless you have been totally out of the loop the past 24 hours, you already know that the Red Sox have traded fan favorite Kevin Youkilis to the Chicago White Sox. To make the trade even harder to swallow, Youk helped contribute to the Red Sox win yesterday & walked off the field to a standing ovation. Red Sox Nation took to Twitter to let the front office and Bobby Valentine know just how pissed off they were with this latest move. JUMP!
No NBA Finals. Jerry Sandusky perp walk. Blue Jays-Marlins. Mariners-Padres. An Indy Racing League race that started at like 10:30 p.m. Saturday night. NHL Draft. What's this add up to? One horribly shitty weekend of sports. Did you even waste time watching golf yesterday? Did you even catch R.A. Dickey get lit up by the Yankees? Did you even realize Allison Stokke didn't make the U.S. Track & Field team? Horrible weekend. Let's get rolling!
Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves was up to bat against the Boston Red Sox when a girl in the crowd really just wanted to grab Chipper's ass. Her and her friends all were staring at him. Yes, one of the pictures shows another girl taking a picture of Chipper's lower region with her iPhone. A bunch of ravenous chicks in the crowd after an athlete. It never gets old. Off the diamond, this guy must get assaulted with ass on the regular. JUMP!
Our friends at Rick's Cabaret in New York City are up to their old ways in the press release game. Barely anyone is paying attention to baseball right now, so what does marketing genius Lonnie Hanover do to spice up the NYC baseball war? His team asked Rick's dancers whether they are Yankees or Mets fans. Are you kidding me? This is pure gold. JUMP!
In the market for a multi-million dollar house that is currently owned by a professional athlete and the house must have a cool pool? Sure you aren't, but it's not a crime to look. Maybe you work at Facebook and need a house near San Francisco? Barry Zito is trying to sell a mountainside retreat with what has to be the best pool view in athlete houses currently on the market: $11.45M. Looking for a grotto? You can buy Devin Harris' house: $2.1M. More - JUMP!
Remember back in May when we pulled off the 'Replace Front Row Amy' project where we put Playboy model Front Row Ashley in Amy's infamous seat? Yeah, well yesterday some joker had Amy's seat and was totally ripping off our bit with his giant meaty arms and tissue implants. How dare you disrespect the Amy brand like this? However, we are awarding bonus points for Front Row Adam keeping score. JUMP!
If you missed it, Florida last night played Kent State in the College World Series. The Gators had the bases loaded in the 9th but lost, 5-4. Blah, blah, blah. The story made its rounds & was all over SportsCenter, but apparently former Gator CB Joe Haden missed the news. Get this, he wanted to bet Josh Cribbs (who went to Kent) on the game - this morning. JUMP!